soul cravings (5)

...So that pretty much left the invisibles or the rebels-- and aren't the rebels really just the ones who are desperately trying not to be invisible while knowing they don't fit in anywhere else? This is maybe why I'm so attracted to Jesus. If James Dean was the rebel without a cause, Jesus was the rebel with one.

A few days ago I received a message on facebook from one of my friends inviting me, and the rest of his brothers and sisters to join him in starting a Revolution. There was a link to his blog where the most recent post was about being a rebel with a cause. His New Year's resolution is to be a rebel with a cause, just as McManus describes Jesus as being. And how fitting that as we are called to live like Jesus did, that we would also be rebels with the greatest cause.

Andrew's post described how those of us who follow Jesus are rebels because it goes against the pollution of this world. This world is a place where it is so easy to be consumed in hate, corruption, materialism, selfishness and so on. The bible tells us time and time again to watch out for being polluted by the world and to stick to the Word in order to not get lost.

This year I join Andrew in continuing this revolution (as I believe the church has been growing stronger and stronger by the day). I commit to becoming more devoted to Jesus than ever before. I commit to abiding by the Word in order to continue the expansion of love. I commit to shining my light, as well as confessing my dark for all to see.

Will you join us as the rebels with His cause?

soul cravings (4)

What's on God's heart is not a list of rules or commands, but the expansion of love....All God wants for us in this is that we live in healthy, loving relationships.

Isn't that simply beautiful? So many times before I was a believer I questioned why anyone believed and followed the bible since it was all just a long list of things not to do. Once I began my walk, I was still a bit skeptical as I was making a lot of changes in my lifestyle to live according to the word.

Today, when I read that sentence in McManus' Soul Cravings, I am confident that it is exactly true. Working to adjust my behaviors to follow the rules and commands have certainly made it easier to work on the expansion of love. I am now able to be in sincere, healthy, loving relationships whether it be showing love to a stranger, maintaining a relationship with a family member or growing the nature of love in my romantic relationship.

I no longer give away my body in hopes for "love" in return. I do my best not to talk about others to people so that I fit in with them. I believe McManus in that the cry of God's heart is for us to be in healthy, loving relationships. There is far more talk of this in the Bible than there are of lists of things you can't do.

So once again.. let's love love love. It is what we are called to do.

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Home is ultimately not about a place to live but about the people with whom you are most fully alive. Home is about love, relationship, community, and belonging, and we are all searching for home.

I'm not going to lie, the first thing I thought of when I read this was Dory from Finding Nemo when she is begging Marlin not to leave her alone because "when she looks at him she feels home".

Shortly there after entered Vince's message from Imagine Christmas. The idea that during Christmas we all search for home. We don't want to go to a place where "when we have to go they have to take us in". We want to go somewhere where we are welcomed and where our arrival is anticipated with joy.

I know that I have wrestled with "home" issues many times in my life. Lately it has been that I feel most at home with my church family. I feel guilty saying that because of all that my mom and sister have done for me, because I love them so much and they are my two best friends. But it is the truth lately and hit me this Christmas. After spending an entire weekend with them for Imagine Christmas, it has been very weird being away for two weeks.

Jesus called to all who were weary and who found their souls exhausted to come to him and find rest. He is telling us that God will be for us our place called home.

After reading this, however, I stopped feeling guilty and began to feel challenged and encouraged. It makes sense that I would feel most at home with my church family because each person has uniquely attributed to the first steps of my walk with Christ. It is with them that I can pray and worship and that I got excited about my first real Christmas with. The challenging part came in when I was reminded that no matter where I go, God is always there.. He is my home. (Quite frankly I have made it kind of hard to see that when I am so focused on being the only believer in the house.) Sure it is great to share that home with my SPCC family, but I need to learn to be just as comfortable when I "have the house to myself" so to speak.

When we are having "home" problems and can't seem to figure out where exactly we belong, we may become anxious, depressed, nervous and a whole slew of other things. It is amazing, however, the weight that is lifted when we realize that God has enough room in His house for us all and He longs for us to fill up one of those empty beds.

soul cravings (2)

Love is not a limited commodity. Love expands as we give it away. Love dies when we do not.

This quote is one that is a true cry of my heart. Since being saved by Christ He has opened my heart more and more with each day. I am no longer bitter and calloused and trying to shut out the things in my life that used to cause me pain.

I have learned that loving someone does not mean that you have to like them. Love is a verb and by the grace of God I have been taught to do so. In the beginning, and still sometimes now, my friends hassle me when I tell them I love them. I have heard numerous times, "How can you love me when you love everyone?" or "You saying that is insincere because you claim to love everyone." For too long I let this bother me and I used to question my actions.

Today, however, I am confident in God's truth that love is not limited. It does expand when we give it away. The more I serve, minister and worship, the more my heart is filled to continue to love.

Just as the Desert Song says "I know I'm filled to be emptied again, the seed I receive I will sow."

So here is my challenge to myself and to you. Love. Love like we have never loved before. Let us reach out to people we may not like and reveal to them the greatest love ever known.. that of Jesus Christ.

soul cravings (1)

This Christmas I got three books that I am very eager to read. I started Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus tonight and although I'm only 12 pages in, I am hooked.

The book, which is written in short entries, is extremely inviting as McManus asks the reader to embark on a journey with him. The first pages talk about the unexplainable longing in our hearts for love. I have posted in the past on my thoughts about love. I finally realized that love goes far beyond family, friends and romantic partners. I believe that this book will capture that same notion and help me to encounter love in full force.

Here are just a few parts that struck me as profound:

"If you try to ignore it, if you think that you can live your life without love, you're in even worse shape than the person who's desperately trying to find it."

"Have you ever come face to face with the vacuum of love that exists within your soul? Have you ever had an unexplainable sense of loneliness even while you're standing in the middle of a crowd? At the same time you can be all by yourself and have a wonderful sense of connectedness with the world. You can enjoy being alone, but you can become lost in aloneness."

Anddd my favorite:

"We are created to know love and to give love. Our need to love, though rooted in God, is not limited to Him. Love is not a limited commodity. Love expands as we give it away. Love dies when we do not."
I think that while reading this book I will blog about a different part that speaks to me each day. I hope that you would follow me along this journey and give me your feedback. Also, I would already say that I recommend this book!

a few of my favorite worship songs

Sooo, I am on duty tonight as I was last night. What is great about duty over break is that there are barely any residents in the building and you're on by yourself! I have been very productive the past two nights getting things ready for Panama, working on bulletin boards and door decs and listening to worship songs the entire time.

There is definitely something to be said about having the soundtrack to 5 hours of your day be music speaking of His amazing love. It is refreshing, renewing, challenging, comforting, etc.

Two of the songs that I have been playing over and over are Chasing by Charlie Hall and Who Am I? by Casting Crowns. Both beautiful songs that really capture my heart. I encourage you to give them a listen :)

Chasing by Charlie Hall

Sweet Forgiveness,
My redemption
You're a savior once for all, and today
Oh the mercy, it comes to flood me
Jesus on the cross, You took my place

And I'm chasing after You
Because You first chased after me
And You purchased me with blood
I am free, I am complete
Now a child of my King
Leaving old I am made new
Because You first chased after me
I am chasing after Youuuuu..

Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done but because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord you catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours..

Who am I that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me



These songs are surely helping me to worship fully this advent season.

How?

While reading tonight's Advent readings, Romans 10:14 really captured my heart.

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they hae not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

With Imagine Christmas just finishing up a day ago and Christmas Day up ahead with a missions trip to Panama following closely behind that, God yelled this verse to me to make sure I heard it!

Romans 10:13 statesfor, "Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved." and then in verse 14 goes on to pose a few questions that can stir in everyone's hearts.

Sure, if you were raised in the church and in a community where you learned about Christ, learning His teachings was very accessible. Otherwise, there has to be a way that you were introduced to Him, brought to Him by Him through someone in this world. For me, it was a great friend inviting me to St. Paul's. God took that invitation and rocked my world with it.

It looks different for everyone, though-- being introduced to Christ. These verses were just very encouraging to remind me to go ahead, unafraid and speaking because God is with me (Acts 18:9-10). Whether it be through dance in Imagine Christmas, through small group, at the soup kitchen, in class, across the world on a missions trip, at the dinner table with my family, in a conversation with a stranger.. I must keep Him in my thoughts. I must ask Him to fill me with the words and with the love to proclaim His love to those who do not yet know Him.

Because without the people of His church actively seeking out those in His kingdom, they will be left in the dark without the invitation to salvation.