What a flashback.

For whatever reason, this morning while brushing my teeth, I was reminded of this song that I used to sing in Brownies when I was in about 1st or 2nd grade.

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.
A circle is round, it has no end. That's how long, I will be your friend.
A fire burns bright, it warms the heart. We've been friends, from the very start.
You have one hand, I have the other. Put them together, We have each other.
Silver is precious, Gold is too. I am precious, and so are you.
You help me, and I'll help you and together we will see it through.
The sky is blue The Earth is green I can help to keep it clean
Across the land Across the sea Friends forever We will always be

It's corny, I know.. but somewhat applies to where I am in life right now. I am having a tough time hanging out with my old group of friends due to their lifestyle being different than mine but I still really care about them and am not fine with separating myself from them completely so that we are not friends anymore. I have also been working on making new friends. I have found out quickly that it isn't always the easiest thing when you live in a town that you've lived in your entire life. Instead, I have been recharging former friendships with people that I have lost contact with for different reasons.

I went to my friends cottage the other night and enjoyed a beautiful campfire with a few of his friends who were all very nice to me. Last night I went out with my friend on his motorcycle and then to a nice dinner where we were able to catch up after not really talking for years. It has been very refreshing.

Of course I care about the group of friends that I have associated myself with after graduating high school, but I also have a great want and a great need to care about and become close to others.

I will make new friends but keep the old in some capacity. And just like a circle is round and has no end (which makes me laugh because it reminds me of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), I won't ever deliberately stop being someone's friend or being there for them. Everyone is in a process, we are all at different points. This is key for me to remember when I get fed up with some of my friends. How awful would it be for me to stop talking to them and being their friend and then 2 years down the road when either they or I really want to catch up, we just don't make time or refuse to get together because it's been so long?

Now I know the girlscout song is really cheesy, but I thought it was kind of fitting, especially because it just popped into my head this morning!

I love my friends, new and old. I am challenged, loved, cared about, laughed at and a million other things. And I am so grateful.

Help.

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

After recently finding out that my father has fallen back into his old habits of drinking and doing drugs, I am devastated. I have had a few weeks to reflect on this situation and all of the evil that surrounds it, but also to tune into the grace that God has poured out over my dad. Although he has been using certain drugs and drinking alcohol intermittently over the past year, he has not started doing the most lethal drug to him again, and I thank God everyday for that.

I am also so thankful that he has opened up to me and I believe that this is a cry for help. I have rid myself of any anger and resentment toward him and this awful situation and I am ready to love, help and heal, along with the power of God. One of my greatest hopes is that he accepts Alcoholics Anonymous back into his life. Since he has also semi-recently accepted Jesus into his life, I believe that the AA program would have more of an effect on him than ever before.

Another miracle that I have seen through this that there is never ending support for myself and more importantly for my father. The community at St. Paul's never hesitates to pray about this situation when I ask, and I have found that my closest friends are nothing less than amazing when it comes to supporting a friend in need.

I still ask, however, for your help. Your prayers. Your hope. Your smiles. Your encouraging words. Your hugs. Your love.

My dad cannot get through this alone.. and neither can I.

Help, please. And really.. thank you.