what is my next step?

The above question is one that the pastor at St. Paul's Collegiate Church asked tonight during his sermon. Now, if you know me you know that I am not one to attend church or have strong religious ties. A friend of mine told me about the church a few weeks ago and explained how he knew I wasn't big into religion but that I should consider giving St. Paul's a chance.

We entered the church with a group of ECSU students and there was music coming from the chapel. Not an organ, not a choir group, but a guitar, drums and a girl with a beautiful voice. We entered the chapel and there were no wooden pews or a huge alter, just rows of chairs set up in a circle with a small podium.

After a few upbeat songs were played and sung by members of the church, the pastor began his sermon. I was happy to find that it wasn't just readings from the bible being recited (because something of the sort would have made me awfully uncomfortable). Instead, he talked about it being the churches 3rd birthday and what the next steps of the church were. He then expanded this later on and asked everyone to think about what their next steps are. For me, this was a difficult question considering I felt as though I had just taken my first step. I was courageous enough to go to the church and to my surprise, I was enjoying it thus far.

Somewhere in the middle of his sermon I thought of what Vikki would say if she knew that I had gone. She always used to bust my butt about how terrible it was that I didn't go to church and how she wished I would just go once and a while. I missed her now more than ever and I cried tears of both joy and sadness.

At the end of the sermon, the music started up again and this time the songs were slower and more heartfelt. This, of course, brought on more tears but I was fine with that and I just let it flow.

After the mass, we met a few college leaders of the church and it was awesome to hear about what they do to serve the community and others.

When all was said and done, it was a great experience. I still don't know how I feel about following the story of the bible and believing all that it says, but I do know that the songs were very enjoyable and the atmosphere was warming.

So what is my next step? I'm still thinking that up.. but to me, that in itself is step enough.