whose eyes?

Tonight I was faced with a question that answered a question I have been having for awhile. I am often looked at strangely or negatively commented when I make optomistic statements or try and look toward the future rather than dwelling on the past or something that I can't do anything about. This has confused me for quite some time and has saddened me greatly when friends get angry at me about it.

The question I was prompted with tonight was: Do you form your idea of what God is like by the things that happen around you? Or do you think of the things that happen around you based on who God is?

God has worked in my heart in amazing ways and has helped me to move toward the second of these two options. For awhile I asked questions like "well how is there a God if children are starving?", "why have I had so much hurt my life if God is love?", etc, etc. I was basing my opinion of God on the representation of Him by people and things in this world.

Bad move!! Not until I dove into the Bible and began to learn about God's heart could I begin to truly understand Him for who He really is. The stage where I was doubtful and questioning was necessary, for sure as a seeker. I am glad that I asked the questions that I did and I am certainly more glad that God revealed the answers to me.

So the next time I speak optomistically, matter of factly or extremely compassionately (and trust me, I don't do a great job of keeping this view all of the time), know that it is because God is working in my heart to help me know Him better. He is using people, places and things of this world to help me better understand who He is.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: Q

God is quiet.. or is He?

Some may say that God is completely silent and that He doesn't ever speak. Well, they are partially correct. God doesn't use an audible voice to speak to us. As Vince once said during a sermon-- that would be creepy and we would be checking in our closets for strangers!

God uses the Holy Spirit to speak to our minds and to our hearts. He uses His word, people, situations.. anything!

So yes, His "still, small voice" is in fact silent, but He is God and doesn't need audible words to change our lives.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: P

God is perfect.

"Practice makes perfect". I can't tell you how many times I heard that growing up in my dance classes and then later on on my cheerleading teams. But no matter how we practiced, we would never get a perfect score at competition. A girl may fall from a stunt, our tumbling would be out of sync, our technique not as sharp as it ought to be. I learned (not so quickly) that practice does not make perfect. There is no such thing as perfect on this Earth.

But our God is perfect. He didn't have to practice anything to get that way, He just is. His thoughts, actions and desires are all perfectly perfect. What a relief that our Creator is absolutely PERFECT and even though we were meant to be that way but messed it up, He and His perfectness have it under control.

Thoughts from Donald Miller

A few weeks ago I realized that the reason I couldn't finish a book for my life was because I wasn't enjoying the kind of books I was reading. In the beginning of my journey I loved the instructional types of books that offered me tools to help me grow as a Christian and become closer to Christ. I would honestly sit down and read a book like that in one sitting. It was fascinating to me as I was eager to learn and grow. Now, however, I read a chapter and I am bored with the material. I thought for a while that something was wrong, that perhaps this was one of my warning signs that I was straying away.

After a recent visit to Barnes and Noble, I have decided that that isn't the case at all!! I just needed a new kind of book. I purchased Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller, among a few others. This was a great story of how he found and saw God on a road trip through the west, living simply in the back of a van with a good friend. I highly recomment this book to anyone who wants to hear an honest account of his faith journey, the questions he asked, the troubles he faced and the beautiful God that he found.

I also recommend Blue Like Jazz by Miller which I have recently borrowed from the SPCC library and can't seem to put down! Here are just a few of Miller's thoughts that have really grabbed my attention:

-I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems of the world, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principal within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there, the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives inside my chest.

I love the truth and conviction that rings out of this. He later goes on to talk about how we all need to let go of ourselves a bit more each day until we learn to live for others. This is one of the fundamental ideas about Christianity, but poured out in an honest, new way.

-I don't think you can explain how the Christian faith works, either. It is a mystery and I love that about Christian spirituality. It cannot be explained, and yet it is beautiful and true. It is something you feel and it comes from the soul.

Now people may be saying, "well duh!" but others might now. And when reading about Don's journey throughout this book and the last that I read, I can appreciate how he has truly sought out God and felt him in his heart, tugging at and comforting his soul.

Please do yourself a favor and check out some of Donald Miller's writing if you haven't already!!

The sixth graders get it.

For the month of June I am substituting for parapfrofessionals in the Torrington school systems. So far I have been at the high school, middle school and one of the elementary schools. TMS has been my favorite so far and an incident today reinforced that.

I was grading history tests for Mrs. Vinal's sixth grade classes. One of the sections of the test the students were given a short passage about the emperors and the wealthy people in Ancient Rome. It talked about the large feasts they had with ostrich, doormouse in honey and other delicacies of the time. It went on to explain that the rich enjoyed many different types of entertainment during these feasts. After reading the passage, the students had four questions to answer. For the last one, they were to write down two questions that they would ask the wealthy Romans should they be able to talk to them.

"..My second question would be about why the poor people didn't get to eat with them." I was astonished. I took a second and prayed for the child with this response and then moved on. To my surprise, test after test... probably about 90% of them had asked a question about the treatment of the poor in comparison to the wealthy.

"What did the poor eat?"
"Why couldn't the wealthy people just share?"
"Did the poor people go hungry, or did they eat other stuff?"

It was amazing. These sixth graders seem to get it. They understand that there is a difference in lifestyle between the wealthy and the poor. Not only do they understand it, but they want to know why.

So I pose the question: Why, when we have so much, do so many go without so much? Why don't we share some of our everyday feasts with the hungry?

These sixth graders get it. in all of their innocence. I hope and pray that these children don't lose this perspective and they continue to ask this question. That they wouldn't be made out to be naive when doing so, but would stand up and ask the tough questions.

I pray that we all sit back and digest the question: Why don't we share our feasts? Or if we do.. why not share more?

Seeing God in a Recital.

Last night I was at Steve's house when his dad's girlfriend, Sherry invited me to come and watch her recital tonight. She explained how she has been teaching dance students from three different towns for years and how this is the first year where they will have all of the dances in one show. I was told that it would be held today at 7PM.

I shuffled through my schedule of the day and realized I would have to rush my gym workout, stuff dinner down my throat and drive quickly in order to get there. I was a bit frustrated at the thought of being rushed and I told her I would do my best to make it.

I wanted to be there to support her and her daughters and Steve's sister Britt whom I love so much.

I rushed at the gym, with dinner and getting there. Of course, I arrived 13 minutes early which pointed out that I didn't need to be in such a hurry to begin with. The curtains opened at 7:02 and the show began. Miss Sherry danced in the first dance along with her daughters and a few other students. Tears started falling out of my eyes.

As the dances continued, I watched dozens of little girls beautifully missing ballet steps and waving like crazy at their moms from the stage. I was amazed by the solos performed with such passion and gracefulness by the older girls. Tears kept unexpectedly falling from my eyes.

The show went on and with every dance, in every face-- I saw God. I saw joy and smiles and a passion for dance. I saw the gift that dance is and was so grateful to God for creating things like dance.

Sherry concluded the evening by saying that she is so blessed to share her God given gift with all of the children. Almost 100 students gathered on the stage and hugged and laughed, congratulated and of course the little ones were still waving at their mothers.

I left the auditorium, walked out the doors of the school and kept crying, thanking God for revealing His heart through a simple recital that I was hesitant to go to.

This may sound silly and I understand if you think so, but I absolutely love the way He grabs my attention and shows me a bit more of Himself when I least expect it. Praise Him for smiles, for little girls waving on stage, for Sherry and her wonderful talents and for recitals.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: O

O. God is One.

It took me a real long time to understand how in the world God can be God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

But let me tell you, I am thankful He is. He has worked in my heart and revealed Himself to me through the power of God, the love and teaching of Jesus and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Praise the Holy Trinity.

a simpler life.

"I want to make my life matter, but not in the way that our Western culture seems to care about (ie. making money, being successful and continuing to be upwardly mobile), but instead continuing to be the type of person who makes my life simpler in order that the few things that I have said “yes” to take precedence over everything else."

The above quote is from a blog that my friend suggested I check out. It is written by a man named Dave who is in Uganda for a couple of weeks. From reading his posts, it doesn't seem he is a follower of Christ, but that certainly doesn't mean we can't learn from him.

His statement about making his life simpler so that the few things he has said yes to really take precedence is extremely powerful. Since beginning my walk, I have undoubtedly lived simpler. Less gossip, fewer dollars spent on clothes, less time picking out what to wear, less money being spent on the latest trends, etc. I am grateful for the way God has worked in me in this area and I pray that He continues to. It takes a lot of discipline and is always something that I can be working on and need to be working on. It is especially important as I have just moved back home for the summer. Although I will still be spending each Sunday at SPCC, I am away from the Small Group I was with all year, away from my routine at school and just getting used to change again. This always makes it more difficult for me to keep me priorities in line. Reading Dave's post, and specifically that striking sentence was a great reminder.

Because I am very interested in having my life matter for God's Kingdom. I want more than anything to be able to live a simpler life so that the Only One I have said "YES! "to takes complete precedence in my life.

(I encourage you to check out his blog if you are interested in Uganda or just following him for the next week or so! www.daveinuganda.wordpress.com)