Ever have a parent or teacher ask you or tell you to do something and their reasoning for why is "Because I said so!!"? Something like- "please be home by 10", "clean the bathroom" or "go outside and help your sister". Then of course we always would ask "Awwww why?" and the response would be "Because I said so!" either being yelled or just said with a simple shrug of the shoulders as though parents had absolute authority over every single thing we did. Who would have thought!
I remember mouthing back to me mom "Because isn't even a reason." or "I'm not doing anything unless you tell me why I need to." Oh was I fresh. Sometimes, I was justified in asking why. Other times, my mom was justified in giving her reason of "Because I said so." and answering back to my questions with "I don't need a reason-- just do it."
How many of you are thinking back to those days and laughing? Or perhaps still holding a grudge for some of those things you had to do? ;)
As some of you may know, I love children and was a teacher at a daycare for 3 years and now babysit for a few different families. I can still remember the first time I pulled out the "Because I said so" card. Johnny Pasko, a 5 year old in my class was being awfully fresh during a circle time one day when I asked him to please get up and sit in a chair away from the class. He got in my face and said "Whyy Miss Chelsea?" I tried to explain to him that he was disrupting the story and the songs and that he needed to take some time away from the group and he returned that with a, "But they think it's funny Miss Chelsea, Tori was laughing at me before. So why do I need to go sit down?" Frustrated, but humored at the same time that I was letting this little boy dance around me in circles, I quickly spit out, "You need to go sit down because I said so." I can also remember instantly wanting to cover my mouth and gasp, "Chels!! When you were young you'd swore you would never use that because mom did and you hated it!"
Isn't it great how as we become older we really do say and do a lot of the things to children we promised ourselves we wouldn't because when our parents did they just seemed so unfair.
"Because I said so."
In yesterday's message at SPCC, I realized just how valid this phrase can be. I have been trying to get in the word more often lately and through this, conversations with those I have fellowship with and the messages at St. Pauls, I have a pretty good idea of the things that I should and should not be doing. Though the focus at SPCC is not primarily the "don'ts" and rather concentrates on the "go for it's!" and the "you can do it's!", it is important to remember what God has taught us through His word.
There have been a few concepts that have left me struggling with the question. "Whyyy? This doesn't make much sense right now." But the message yesterday gave just the right answer. Why should we listen to all that God has told us and is telling us? Because He said so and he is working in ways that we won't understand until long after big things happen, if we are lucky enough to open our eyes to fully see them later. He is doing things for us everyday in our lives in return for our obedience to Him.
So even if I don't fully understand why, or I don't understand why at all, God is asking me to do something, I will try my best to just do it anyway; wholeheartedly and with no doubts that He won't come through for me the way He has been.
Sometimes "Because I said so" is the only explanation there is-- if the real reason is revealed, we may never take those first steps for the fear of failure, embarassment, discouragement or being overwhelmed or challenged. With a complete explanation we may just look at it and say, "Ummm, no thanks- not for me." But let's leap- let's just do it, because He says so.
Monday, June 30, 2008
"Because I said So"
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 8:36 AM 0 comments
Labels: God, risk, St. Paul's
Friday, June 27, 2008
What a flashback.
A circle is round, it has no end. That's how long, I will be your friend.
A fire burns bright, it warms the heart. We've been friends, from the very start.
You have one hand, I have the other. Put them together, We have each other.
Silver is precious, Gold is too. I am precious, and so are you.
You help me, and I'll help you and together we will see it through.
The sky is blue The Earth is green I can help to keep it clean
Across the land Across the sea Friends forever We will always be
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 11:00 AM 1 comments
Labels: friends
Monday, June 23, 2008
Wonderful Service
I woke up this morning excited that it was Sunday, meaning that it was St. Paul's day :). People often think that I am crazy for driving over an hour to church, but tonight just reinforced the reason I do it.
God and his son Jesus Christ. The people. My friends. The smiles. The hope. The music. The message. Ben's encouraging words. Heartfelt prayer. Everyone around me clapping to the beautiful worship songs. The smiles. And of course the tears. The coffee and fellowship afterwards. The sharing of summer stories. The awesome worship on the car ride home that was inspired by everything previously listed.
I think I would drive a lot farther for these things if I needed to. So here is a big thank you to everyone at St. Paul's. To Gordie, Chris, Maurice and the rest of the First Impressions team, to Ashley who sat next to me and reached out to get to know me more, to Nathan for always encouraging me and being such a great friend to me, to Steve for offering help in finding me a new car, to the first time visitors from Eastern for reminding me that it never hurts to extend an invitation, to Emily for her warming smile and to Ben and Steve for their beautiful words through God.
Thank you. THANK GOD.
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 12:25 AM 1 comments
Labels: God, St. Paul's, thanks
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Something gets lost.
Yesterday morning, I got out of bed and got dressed, putting on my East School shirt that I got in 5th grade, with Class of '99 printed on the sleeve. My sister did the same, with Class of 2001 on her sleeve and we met a bunch of other alumni of East School, mostly from her class. We joined the students, facutly, staff and parents for their Hands Around East School ceremony. This is where everyone in the entire school makes a long line linking hands and walks around the school and then into the gym to sing a few songs. Although my favorite song was apparently not a part of the ceremony anymore, I really enjoyed being there.
How enoucraging!! And for these young children to be seeing and reading these powerful messages daily! I got me wondering why there were not similar things around the high school. I have been back to visit THS a few times since I have been home and other than hall monitors asking me if I have a pass and groups of kids walking around trying to get out of class, I haven't noticed much in the hallways. Something gets lost between the elementary years and the high school years.
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 11:08 AM 1 comments
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Absolutely astounding day.
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 9:23 PM 1 comments
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
a bit broken
I am just temporarily broken with the fear that I am going to lose my absolute best friend, the birthday present I received on my 2nd birthday, the high school senior that I will watch graduate this Sunday.. I can't lose her.
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 10:12 PM 1 comments
Sunday, June 8, 2008
"Are you afraid of being afraid?" Part II
If you are someone who keeps up with my blog, then you remember a recent post about how I figured out my fear by accidentaly hearing a coversation with two young girls on the jungle gym at a park. I am afraid of being afraid.
I have been wrestling with this and praying about it for the past week or so, and God has certainly intervened. He has been exposing me to knowledge about fears left and right. I just finished Wild at Heart (which I recommend highly to any man who is looking to understand his design better or any woman who wants a little more insight into what really makes up a man). I was reading through the book pretty quickly and was looking forward to finishing it and reflecting on the entire message. I was tired last night and ready for bed but turned the page and continued reading the next chapter anyway. What I read on the next page was wonderful: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." You may recognize this quote, for it is famous and was spoken by FDR during his inagural speech. The author of Wild at Heart uses many quotes and excerpts from the bible and various books. This one, however was quite fitting.
How perfect. I don't think there could have been any more of an obvious signal to me that God had heard my prayers about my fear. There I was, ready to turn out the light, put the book down and pray, again for the courage to face my fear. Instead, I read just a bit more and went to sleep feeling both comforted and challenged, of which I prefered the second. I don't want to sit around and be fine with being afraid of being afraid, after all-- it is all we really have to fear anyway right? I would rather take it as a challenge, a fire lit beneath me to go out there and face being afraid and grow from those occurences.
I went to sleep last night thankful for my prayer being answered, but little did I know it was only the beginning.
I finished Wild at Heart this morning, and a few hours later began reading In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day. (I have had a real passion for reading lately so figured that I would embrace it and enjoy the sunshine and a few good books this weekend). I read through the first chapter and then the second and was really enjoying it so far, when I came to a section in the third chapter titled "Facing Fears". Imagine that. Two times in two days. (And in my last post I used this same phrase referring to frustrations. God certainly works in unexpected, beautiful ways.)
I came across a sentence which was very confusing to me with my fear in mind: "Your fear is worse than the actual thing you're afraid of." Hmm. If that is true than that means that my fear of being afraid is actually worse than being afraid- how encouraging, for real! The next sentence set in stone the fact that God has prepared me to go out and face my fears: "And if you learn from every mistake, then there is no such thing as failure anyway." I am a firm believer in learning from mistakes and probably use it as my biggest piece of advice to people. These two sentences were just phenomenal together and spoke volumes to me.
Two times in two days. I was shown that God has heard my prayer and seen that he has delivered. He has showered me with words of comfort, challenge, encouragement and love.
So I'm afraid of being afraid, and ready to look that in the eye. Ready to stand up to any fear I face and learn from whatever the outcome may be.
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 3:37 PM 2 comments
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I don't get it.
Two times in two days.
First, a very good friend of mine who I have been close to for over 2 years told me that I wasn't sincere in telling him that I love him. I asked him why, upset and confused about his statement and he snapped back "because you throw around the word to everyone and so loosely".
Second, my ex boyfriend of 3 years explained that he didn't understand why I wanted to hang out with him. I explained that it is because he was a very good friend of mine and I would like to maintain that friendship. He went on to explain that he couldn't hang out with me because he doesn't know who I am, that "my entire existence is formulated on the gratifications of others and serving others".
Wow.
I have learned that loving is so much more than an intimate feeling between two lovers, or an evergrowing bond between a daughter and her mother or an established relationship between friends. Yes, love is all of these things, but as I touched on in a previous post, there is so much more meaning; at least in my heart. This is not to say that because I show acts of love to many more people than I used to that my close friends and family are loved and less or that my love for them is suddenly insincere. If anything, over the past few months I have strengthened the most important relationships in my life and enhanced that love.
And along with loving comes serving. Helping other people is something that I have loved doing since I was young. From helping my mom as a child, to being there for my friends when they needed advice.. and now it has grown and matured and I am so thankful. I am so grateful that I do all of the serving that I do. I know that I spend a lot of time doing it, but to say that entire existentence is made up of the gratifications of other people really stung.
It made it out to seem like I am a people pleaser, which reminded me of a recent verse I have read in the Bible.
Am I now trying to win human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. -Galatians 1:10
I highlighted this passage when meditating on His word the other night and recognized that at a point in my life (middle school-ish) I was certainly a people pleaser.. but weren't we all at some point? Always wanted to be recognized for my grades, told "good job" and what not. Now, I prefer to serve when few to nobody else knows about it. I have learned over the years that it isn't important to be praised. Yes, my aim is to make the people I am serving happy, but for goodness sake, is that a bad thing?
Am I awful for loving? For serving? For growing?
Please, don't feel as though I am asking for you to comment on this and tell me "Chels, you're a great person" or "You do great things to help others and that's awesome". I am venting. I am frustrated. I simply thank you for listening.
Posted by ChelseaDenise at 4:38 PM 0 comments