bad habits

Today's Chat-A-Chini question is: What habit would you most like to get rid of?

Hmm. Do you ever trick yourself into thinking that a bad habit is just the way it is? That it is the way you were wired and that you can't help but act a certain way? Or how about you excuse yourself and say "This action is only temporary, I am excused for acting in a foolish way since it's only a short period of time."

I have been there many times. Each and every one of us have habits, probably many of them. Some of mine include: washing my dishes every night before bed, praying when I wake up and before I go to sleep, only buying shirts when I'm shopping unless I am forced to shop for pants, etc. I think you get the idea!

Out of all of the habits that I have, I think I would like to get rid of the feeling I get often that I am owed something. Whether it be from my family, friends, co-workers or God, I sometimes feel that I am owed an apology or a thank you, or that I deserve to be praised for certain actions. Certainly, it is nice to get an apology when someone has wronged you and a thank you when you have done something nice, but it is definitely not owed to me by any means.

There ya have it, the habit I would most like to rid myself of.

How about you? Any habits you could do without?

the posture of worship

Tonight at SPCC, I was reminded about what worship truly is. Corporate worship has always been my favorite part of a service, the place where I encounter God most. This is still true today, but I was reminded that this is not all worship is.

Worship is a posture. It is being willing to lay face down in front of God. A time where we give and it is about God rather than a time where we get and it is about us.

I can't tell you how many times I have left a service and said "It's too bad, I didn't get much out of worship tonight." This is not the way that it should be. And furthermore, worship is something I need to do everyday. The way I live my life should be a form of worship to God. I have not thought about it in this way in quite some time. It was very sobering, hearing the message tonight. A great reminder this Advent season to bow down before our Creator and just simply be with Him.

After all, that is what He wants. Just to spend time with His children. To hold us and to love us.. but we somehow manage to count this as a waste of time or just another thing on our list.

Will anyone join me this Advent season in working towards better worship posture?

Laurance: My Christmas Child

This Christmas, I am partnering with Compassion to try and find a sponsor for a little boy named Laurance from Tanzania. He is 6 years old and lives with his parents and 2 siblings. His parents seldom work and it is only due to his partnership with Compassion that he has a chance to attend bible studies and church services.

However, without a sponsor, Laurance has little chance of staying in school because he will eventually need to help out at home with chores and then later in life go to work. As most of us know, in order to break the cycle of poverty, we need to educate the young.

This is our chance.. to pray for this little boy, at least for the month of December. I will post things every few days as reminders about this and encouraging verses to help with prayer, etc. Please join me in this, it would mean so much to surround to this little boy with prayers and the love of God.

If while praying you feel led to sponsor little Laurance or another child from Compassion, please let me know and I can help you with the steps. Thank you and I hope that you will join me and Compassion in helping out "My Christmas Child".

So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth.
--Job 5:16

Happy Day

With it being the end of the semester, and everyone freaking out.. I just want to take a moment to wish everyone a Happy Day!! It is so easy to get wrapped up in the stress: the papers and the projects then going to work and shopping for the holidays.

I have really learned this semester the importance of slowing down, prioritizing and playing. I just encourage everyone, and myself, to take some time to relax and to breathe.. to sing a silly song or color a picture. Counterproductive? Hardly! Things like this help us to let out some steam and take a look at the big picture.

So everyone-- Have a Happy Day, today- tomorrow and always :)

You never know how far a smile goes.

When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives everyday that the sun rises.

-The Alchemist

You are God's own possession. 1 Peter 2:9

God loves you simply because He has chosen to do so.

He loves you when you don't feel lovely.
He loves you when no one else loves you.
Others may abandon you, divorce you, and ignore you, but God will love you.
Always. No matter what.

hypocrites

Here is a quotation from a column written by Terry Mattingly that I came across when reading a friend's blog.

"It's a good thing when sinners continue to oppose sin, even if they are still struggling with sin in their own lives...Sometimes, hypocrisy is what allows sinful people to be decent while they try to do what's right."

What do you think about this?

Insignificant?

How many days a week do we wake up feeling significant? How many times do we punch into work thinking "this day at work is going to really make a difference"? How many times do our hearts scream "HEY! This matters.. what you are doing matters.. YOU MATTER!"

Probably not too often unless we are deliberate about staying in God's word and reminding ourselves that we are a part the body of Christ, a significant part. I know personally that I can get very bent of shape when I suddenly question my worth and the value of my everyday actions. While listening to a motivational speech by Caplan Mobray, I, along with the rest of the audience were challenged with the question "Do you know why you are doing what you are doing today and how it is going to shape where you are tomorrow?" I felt confident in answering this question with a yes. I knew on a worldly level why I am in the RA position, why I am finishing up my degree, etc. However, after reflecting further I realized that this was looking at what I am doing now as a means to an end. This view means that all of the small things I do outside of getting my degree or making money and gaining work experience, etc. are insignificant. That the service I do, the smiles and encouragement I give, the quiet times I have, the laughter I share with Steve... and the list goes on.. is insignificant. What an awful view!

Then tonight I came across a great excerpt from one of Archbishop Desmond Tutu's sermons that challenged me to revisit what I am doing in view of God's eyes.

Have you seen a symphony orchestra? There is a chap at the back carrying a triangle. Now and again the conductor will point to him and he will play "ting". That might seem so insignificant, but in the conception of the composer something irreplaceable would be lost to the total beauty of the symphony if that "ting" did not happen.

I am a member of God's symphony orchestra. I may get the honor of being the chap who plays the triangle, but perhaps I am "less" than that and I only get to clap along in the background. No matter what my role, I have one!! And that is amazing. There is a will that God has for my life, that fits me into His grand puzzle of children. A plan for my life that offers me so many divine opportunities that they can't possibly be looked at as insignificant.

If you are like me and you sometimes doubt your worth, beat yourself up about a project or area of your life that seems to be going nowhere, or simply feel that nothing you do matters, take comfort in knowing that YOU are a member of God's orchestra, of His family and His plan. You were born with a purpose and all God wants is to be able to reveal it to you and help you live it.

You and I are the most significant to God. After all, we are His hands.. His heart.. His plan.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: Z

You guessed it: zealous.

Not only is this about the only z word I could think of, but it is so frequently used in describing our God.

To be zealous is to be full of zeal, to have an eagerness towards a person, a dedication to them and to be filled with desire when they come to mind. And who fits this desciption better than God? Nobody!! All to often we don't want to admit to ourselves that God loves us and is zealous towards us because we are ashamed of our actions and sins. But every second of every day God is shouting to us simply by existing that He is so eager for us to know Him, that He is dedicated beyond any measure to His people and that He desires to shape our hearts.

Our God is a zealous God indeed.

And wow!! That completes the ABCs of God's Goodness. Thank you for sticking around from A-Z. It took quite awhile. This has been a great way for me to remind myself just how good God is and to renew His promises in my heart. I hope that it has been a blessing to you as well.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: Y

God is yours.

How amazing to think that God, who is mine..is also yours. Your God watches over you every moment of every day. Your God has a great plan for your life. Your God loves you more than you could every fathom... just let that sit for a while. He is yours.

Chat-a-Chini 4

Q: What do you think would have to change in your life before you could have more fun?

A: This question was perfect for today because I was planning to post a great poem I read about attitude. I need to change my attitude before I can have more fun. I am a firm believer in the fact that we are able to choose our attitude in any situation and we can do so by changing the way we look at certain situations. If I could just learn to change my attitude in some situations, I bet I would have much more fun!!

ATTITUDE

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than apprearaces, giftedness, or skill.
It will make or break a company, a church, a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you.. we are in charge of our attitude.
~Charles Swindoll

There ya have it! Now, I think that I am pretty good at choosing to be optimistic in almost every situation, but that is not the only attitude I can and should choose. I hope to start putting on a fun attitude so that I allow more fun to happen to me instead of blocking it out with a straight face and a "go-getter" attitude.

Chat-a-Chini 3

Q: What are your favorite ways to renew your energy?

A: If you talked to my mom or anyone older than me in my family, they would answer this and say "Chelsea has never needed to renew energy! She has always been hyper and full of energy!" My boyfriend would probably tell you that I'm pretty crazy most of the time and my friends would all agree that I have a ton of energy.

However, in my old age (haha) I am finding that I do need to find ways to renew my energy, because it is no longer sustained regardless of what I do, the way that it once was. Here are a few ways I like to renew my energy:

*swim! it takes a lot of energy but someone I always come out of the pool ready to go
*sleep- for obvious reasons
*pray
*workship all alone in my room, clapping, crying, on my knees or jumping up and down
*spend time with emma and lanna- if you don't know, these two little girls are my boss' daughters whom I get the priveledge of babysitting.
*laugh- usually when steve is around, i always get a really great, belly cramping laugh that fills me with an energy like no other

How do you like to renew your energy?

Starfish

As a man walked a desolate beach one cold, gray morning he began to see another figure, far in the distance. Slowly the two approached each other, and he could make out a local native who kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he hurled things into the ocean.

As the distance between them continued to narrow, the man could see that the native was picking up starfish that had been washed upon the beach and, one at a time, was throwing them back into the water.

Puzzled, the man approached the native and asked what he was doing. "I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."

"But there must be thousands or starfish on this beach," the man replied. "You can't possibly get to all of them. There are just too many. And this same thing is probably happening on hundreds of beaches up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The local native smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea he replied, "Made a difference to that one!"

Each of us is but one person: limited, burdened with our own cares and responsibilities. We may feel there is so much to be done, and we have to little to give. We're usually short of everything, especially time and money. When we leave this shore, there will still be millions of starfish stranded on the beach. Maybe we can't change the whole world, but there isn't one of us who can't help change one person's whole world. One at a time. We DO make a difference.

~author unknown

Chat-a-Chini 3

Q: What is the most important lesson you have learned?

A: In all of my life, I have learned so many lessons that I hold close to my heart and with great importance. I have learned some lessons by watching other people make mistakes but the majority of my lessons learned have happened only after I have fallen on my face.

After I let God into my life and my heart, I saw Him working in me and teaching me things daily. The most important lesson He has taught me thus far (and I don't think it will always remain the most important) is that of self-respect. I look around at so many people who seem to lack a lot of self-respect and it makes my heart truly sad. I have been in this position and know how hurtful it is to oneself and others and each day I am grateful that I have learned this lesson.

What lessons have you learned that are high on your importance list?

Chat-a-Chini 2

Q: What is the purpose of life?

A: Some say that the purpose of life is to live a happy and fulfilling life. I used to buy into this idea but after many years of searching and wondering what my purpose was, I was saved by grace. Along with this, I was shown that our purpose as children of God is to serve Him. This looks differently for each of us so I can't speak on behalf of everyone with specifics. As for myself, I am still seeking what my purpose is. For now, I know that I am called to loved others and love God and I have been shown many ways to do that. I really have a heart for children, global missions and for individuals who are incarcerated, struggle with addiction, etc. As time goes on, I'm sure I will be shown my purpose more clearly :)

What do you think your purpose is?

Chat-a-Chini 1

Q: What do you think the most important idea of this century/all time is?

I think that the idea of genuinely loving others and allowing others and God to genuinely love us is the most important idea, both of this century and all time. Unfortunately, if this is just an idea, it won't necessarily be put into practice which I think is the current state of all people. We all fall on different parts of the continuum, and each of us has room to improve.

How would you answer this question?

Chat-a-Chini

Chat-a-Chini is a really great game that I have never seen in stores, but am told that it is there. Joanna introduced it to the staff last year and we used to play at the end of each staff meeting. I have since gotten a copy of the "game" and play it as much as possible!

It is a bunch of pieces of paper each with a question on it. You pick the question- you answer it! Pretty easy. The questions range from "Do you believe there is intelligent life in outer space" to "What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast" to "What is the greatest lesson you have ever learned" and "What is your concept of God". I have decided that I want to start a "Chat-a-Chini series" on my blog. My ABCs of God's Goodness will be finished soon and I like the idea of having something constant.

So, somedays they will be silly questions that take me one word or sentence to answer. Other days, I may have longer more in depth answers :) I hope you enjoy and let me know if you want to get together and play sometime!

The ABCs of God's Goodness: X

This one is compliments of Steve :)

God is X.

Referring to a variable which can represent anything, at any time, whenever it needs to. God can take the shape and form of whatever beauty or grace he needs to, in any equation in life. God is the divine variable of life :-)

He is also a constant though... figure that one out.

I want to share today's "Everyday Blessing" from a book that I read daily.

October 20

"God, examine me and know my heart... lead me on the road to everlasting life." Psalm 139: 23-24

You don't have to be like the world to have an impact on the world. You don't have to be like the crowd to change the crowd. You don't have to lower yourself down to their level to lift them up to your level. Holiness doesn't seek to be odd. Holiness seeks to be like God.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: W

Our God is willing!

Last night during the sermon, Vince brought up a great truth. God didn't create us out of necessity.. He did it because he wanted to. He did so willingly. He doesn't forgive us, deliver us from temptation, redeem us or love us because He has to... He wants to! He delights in us and is forever a willing God.

PS. Letter X is next. What on earth might I use for that? Please leave ideas!

The ABCs of God's Goodness: V

Disclaimer: My apologies for not posting on this series in a long time! I was very stumped with the letter v. I have finally come up with something though!

God is vast. (This wording may be a stretch but I think you will get my point)

dictionary.com defines vast as "of very great area or extent; immense: the vast reaches of outer space"

The definiton doesn't strike me as much as the example does. Outer space reaches further than we can wrap our minds around. And then to imagine that God holds all of outer space and then some. And oh yes, let us not forget He also created it...

bring it to Jesus

In the past, I have allowed myself to feel very burdened by other people's anguishes, doubts, insecurities, hopelessness, sadness, etc. I have often times tried to carry people on my back through their troubles. I would say things to myself like "Well Chels, if you don't help them, who will?". Some people had me believing that they would be lost without me.

This feeling was very evident in my relationship with my father. He and I have a very long and complicated past, but once God gave me the strength to forgive my dad and move forward with a relationship, I felt that it was up to me to fix his problems, that it was up to me to be there for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There have been several other people in the past couple of years I have felt this way about.

Within the past few months, however, I have run to the end of my rope and realized that I myself can't fix anyone issues, hurts, pasts, etc. Sure, I can be a helpful friend, a great resource, listening ears and two arms to collapse in, but I can't be it all.

I know in my head and have since shortly after becoming a Christian, that I need to bring everything to Jesus. Not until just recently, though, did I truly believe in my heart that this is the only way. And even though I believe that, I am not always the best at doing it.

This world is too broken, too confusing, too ugly and too complicated for you or me to decipher or repair. It is full of deceit, evil, good but lost intentions and beaten and battered people. The good news.. no-- the amazing, reassuring, comforting, awesome, all encompassing news-- is that none of it is too much for Jesus.

When we feel bogged down by others, (and certainly by ourselves) we need to lay them at the foot of the cross. Express our frustrations and loss for words and actions to God. Ask Him how we can serve the people who are hurting, but remember that we are limited. Pray for those who are hurt, confused and lost and remind yourself that sometimes, that is all you can do.

What would your day to day life look like if you brought "it" to Jesus rather than carrying it on your back?

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

cliche you say?

I just got a great email. One of the emails that is forwarded to a million people and you read the title and think "ohh i am so deleting this" (if you are like me) or "AH! another one- i cant wait to read it!". I decided to open it contrary to my usual behaviors and was delighted with what I found.

A list of "cliche" statements about being grateful and taking in each day. The kinds of things that most people here and think "yeah yeah, thats what they all say" or "who has time to do things like that" or "who on earth is that optimistic". I must not be most people because I absolutely loved reading it and was very encouraged by many of the statements.

Hopefully they will rub you the same way:

*Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
*When in doubt, just take the next small step.
*Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
*Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
*Cry with someone. It' s more healing than crying alone.
*It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
*Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
*Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
*If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
*Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
*Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
*Over prepare, then go with the flow.
*Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
*Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
*Always choose life.
*Forgive everyone everything.
*What other people think of you is none of your business.
*Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
*However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
*Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
*All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
*Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
*If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

Enjoy. Take what you like, leave what you don't :)

lookin for a slow down

rush rush rush rush

are you tired? this was the question vince asked to begin last night's sermon.

am i tired?! boy-- am i! physically, mentally, and definitely spiritually. and to think that it is normal. to think that all i need to do is "get through" another day. what way is that to live? i want to go through each day in constant dialogue with my God. with the One who watches over and is in control of my day. the One who is waiting, wishing and hoping that with each moment i will turn to Him for His guidance, love and wisdom.

vince went on to talk about next steps pertaining to slowing down our lives so that we stop experiencing soul fatigue. the first was "just say no".

this is not something that i have ever been great at, but i am getting better. since last year there are several things that i have cut out of my schedule and stepped down from because it just kept me too busy. and just when i thought i had a good schedule figured out with a lot of down time, i was wrong again. somehow, this semester has started off and is just as busy and rushed as the previous one. so, i am forced to practice saying no and although a lot of times i may feel guilty, it feels good to be in control of the things i am a part of, to be able to contribute my heart and my energy to them.

but even as i write this blog, (as im sure you can tell) im feeling rushed. i have a whole list of things to do tonight before i lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes. so i rush through typing this. but, i am a firm believer that saying things out loud and readmitting them to myself helps me to move forward and learn and grow.

so, my next step that goes along with just saying no is prayerfully considering those things that i say yes to. and furthermore, no matter how busy or rushed my days gets, to slow down and remember God. to reflect on His promises and all that He has done for me. and most of all- to bask in each moment and be thankful that He stands there right beside me.

my next tattoo?!

Hey guys!! I have been thinking about my next tattoo for quite awhile. I have to wait for a few more months, but this gives me more time to get the design down.

"Keep me as the apple of your eye, hide me in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 17:8 has been my favorite verse for quite some time. I just think that it is so beautiful and the cry of my heart quite often. I am just having trouble coming up with what the tattoo would actually look like!!

Any suggestions? Nothing too big and maybe to fit on the back of my neck reaching down my back.. maybe?

Let me know kids! I could certainly use your help.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: U

Unwavering.

God doesn't wake up one morning and decide that He wants to be extra nice or that He is going to try his best to do His best. God is the same each day. He is always good. He is always sure. He is always mighty, loving, caring, righteous. God never changes.. He simply is who He is.

Saint Theresa's Prayer

I just opened up an email with this in it and boy did it brighten my spirits :) When it is difficult for me to see God in a certain situation or an entire day, He uses small things like this to remind me of His peace, certainty and goodness.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be..
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God..
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,
Dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

what is life? it is the flash of a firefly in the night. it is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. it is the little dhadow that runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. -crowfoot

The ABCs of God's Goodness: T

Trustworthy.

There is none other as trustworthy as our God. What we struggle with, as humans, is trusting when we are so unsure. God has created us and everything in our world and loves us always, surely we ought to give Him our trust each and every day.

Manage the situation. Don't let it manage you.

This idea found me this morning while i was sitting in RA training learning about conflict mediation. The presenters were two of my fellow RAs and they were doing a great job. They had many take home points and were very descriptive in describing different conflicts we may encounter. I was very engaged in this presentation with the RA frame of mind when all of a sudden my gears shifted.

I read on the powerpoint and heard one of the presenters say "Manage the situation. Don't let it manage you."

What came to mind was not two roommates fighting over spilt milk or a room full of drunk guys yelling at me for writing them up. Instead, many situations in my personal life surfaced. Situations where I had been managed, rather than being the manager myself.

And I am not talking about being the boss of a sitation and telling people what to do, or giving people the solutions that I would use to fix a problem they are facing. I am talking about managing myself within a situation so that I can better handle a difficult conversation, hearing bad or surprising news, or feelings after leaving a place where I felt annoyed or uncomfortable.

All too often I let myself be managed by things around me that I have absolutely no control over. I get upset and worked up about someone's actions and let it weigh me down for days.

I need to learn to manage situations.. manage myself and my feelings both while it is happening and afterwards. I think that I will find myself much less stressed if I remember this small phrase with such potential for positive change.

Do you manage situations or let them manage you? Something I had not thought much about until today.. but encourage you each to think about.

ashley marie

a new baby!
delivered 3 days before my second birthday
little did i know my world was about to change
a live in play mate, a partner in crime
the little girl i protected
the one i would cuddle with in my bed
we stayed that way until she started 2nd grade
holding hands when we walk, playing together everywhere
loving to learn together throughout the years at school
hide and seek with neighborhood friends
splashing in our pool, selling lemonade
hanging out with mom, our other best friend

a growing woman!
my goodness how beautiful
she glows when she smiles
gorgeous beyond imagination
a heart so strong and willing
my protector and encourager
she is the light of my life, my little girl
each day a blessing, to have her in my life
my guardian angel.. delivered right here beside me
ashley marie- you are my world.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: S

God is sincere.

One might think that with over 6 billion people on this earth, that God wouldn't be as sincere as He is. Don't for one second believe that.. each one of us is loved, sincerely. Our Maker knit each one of us uniquely and He is pleased with each of us, He sincerely cares for us and reaches out to our hearts and into our lives.

I am especially thankful for this attribute of God's goodness!!

Jesus ama El Callejon

Me with my class :)


Jeferny, my favorite little girl from the school where I taught.


One of dozens of murals painted by the Students International art site, pouring God's love and messages into the heart of this small community.

There are a ton of other photos on my facebook if you want to check them out there. These are just a few from the community where I taught. This is where I felt God most and wanted to be all day, everyday while I was there.

I am currently trying to raise funds to help two young boys from this school continue their schooling now that they have graduated from this small school. Please let me know if you are interested in helping to support them, no matter how big or small the countribution. I am selling glass bead bracelets for the cause to get things started, so please let me know if you would like to see them and may want to purchase one for God's little loves in the DR. :)

The ABCs of God's Goodness: R

God is in the business of revelation.

Not only did God speak His word through the book of Revalations, but He himself delivers revelations to His people and at His core, He represents this among many other things. He reveals His love to us each and everyday, both when we open our hearts to Him as well as when we least expect Him to show up. He discloses information to us about where to head in our lives. He longs for open communication with each of His children, to reveal His revelation to us.

snipits from The Shack

The Shack is an amazing book that I am thankful to have read. I had heard a lot about it from different people while I was in the DR but didn't give it much thought until I was at my aunt's house and saw it on her dining room table. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It is a heartfelt story about a man's tragedy and how God uses His great love to redeem all.

Here are a few of my favorite parts:

Nobody knows what horrors I have saved the world from cause people can’t see what never happened. All evil flows from independence and independence is your choice. If I were to simply revoke all the choices of independence, the world as you know it would cease to exist and love would have no meaning. This world is not a playground where I keep all my children free from evil. Is the chaos of this age that you brought to me, but it will not have the final say. Now it touches everyone that I love, those who follow me and those who don’t. If I take away the consequences of people’s choices, I destroy the possibility of love. Love that is forced is no love at all.

Most emotions are responses to perception—what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms—what you believe. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly. But even then, you don’t want to trust them more than me.

Religion must use law to empower itself and control the people who they need in order to survive. I give you an ability to respond and your response is to be free to love and serve in every situation, and therefore each moment is different and unique and wonderful. Because I am your ability to respond, I have to be present in you. If I simply gave you a responsibility, I would not have to be with you at all. It would now be a task to perform, an obligation to be met, something to fail.

Do yourself a favor and read this book!!

alive again

two months too long
away from her passion
a cold settling in
guilt along to accompany it
feelings of failure
how could she ever be so great
isn't he the savior, anyway?
tossing and turning
restless nights
leave everything behind?
what is she doing wrong?
where has he gone and why so far away?
she needs to get a grip and dust herself off
time and again, she just stumbles and falls

prayers crying out
please rescue this soul
she can't see a thing
it's so so cold
she wants to be held
to be shadowed from the world
hold her, love her, remind her
she wants you and needs you
but can't seem to find you..

a dawning, a new day
her savior in sight
words of encouragement
a complete turn around
this could be only his work
he is the light of the world
he is her savior and friend
she is filled with his love
his everlasting love
no longer blind sided
just set on a path
the one less followed
but with such reward
the gift of loving
the joy of blessing others
the absolutely delight of being filled with Jesus.
he is alive
she is alive again.

they're coming!

Hi all,
Not sure if there is even an "all" that still follows this.. but I am hopeful!! Wanted to let you know that I will be posting photos and updates from the DR. God moved in so many ways-- mostly unexpected ;). I am still processing a lot of things from the trip. Three quick things:

1. God is awesome.
2. Children are the brightest light of my life.
3. The Dominican Republic is absolutely gorgeous.

Chels

tears of absolute joy

It's 12:47 on Saturday, July 12th. I have just finished getting everything together for the Dominican trip I will leave for tomorrow. I sit waiting for my friend to pick me up and bring me to SPCC where I will meet with my team for dinner, attend the service and then head to New York to spend the night before we fly out.

I have been waiting and preparing for this for months. I have been reading and praying and thinking and just so looking forward to this trip. Now it is right around the corner.

Tears fall down my face.. my emotions can't exactly be explained.

I am nervous about missing those from home, excited to meet new people, experience a new culture and encounter God in Jarabacoa.

Above everything else, I am absolutely filled with joy that I have the opportunity and have been lead to this trip. That I will be spending the next couple of weeks with a group of beautiful Christian women whom I will learn so much from. That I will meet new people, delight in the gorgeous children... and be challenged, comforted and encouraged.

Please be praying for me and the others on my team and for the community of Jarabacoa. I will be sure to post pictures and stories when I am home after the 25th!

looking forward

This past week, Vince made reference to someone asking him what he was looking forward to and he replied "Heaven". This was funny because the way he said it made it known that it has been one of those days, or perhaps weeks or even months!

I have been thinking about this for the past few days, however and wow am I looking forward to Heaven more now than ever. Jeff's message this past Sunday was spot on for me and really has made its way into my heart since I heard it.

In our busy lives, it is so easy for us to get our eyes on something and to completely focus on that being our salvation. For example, sometimes when I'm having a tough night, I fixate on the fact that I am babysitting the next day and get to spend eight hours enjoying the innocent beauty of children. Or when I am at the gym and in the middle of a run, I may think all will be well when I reach the 30 minute mark! I look forward to little things like this in my life on a daily basis. I love to them because I think that I will be happier, more grateful, less stressed, etc. when they come.

Then I think about Heaven!! Oh my what a breathtaker that is. As Jeff reminded me, I know not when it will come, but I know that for those who hold on, it will. I know that someday I will be with Jesus and all of His believers forever and ever and ever. And this is a promise that could never be broken. God is the only one any of us can count on to deliver faithfully time and time again.

And aren't we so blessed to be given the gifts that we are to remind of us Heaven each and every day. Next time you look into a loved one's eyes or watch the sunset or hear the rain fall.. when you watch a young child play or hit a note just the way you wanted.. when you are given the chance to travel whether it be across town or across the world, when you are shown grace, patience or love by a stranger.. all of these things are little glimpses of Heaven, of what we will one day enjoy, but for now look forward to.

God's testimony

"The old Brazilian farmer gave me a time-tested principle to take home. he reminded me that there is a certain understandingof God on the cross that comes only with witnessing his daily testimony. There comes a time when we should lay down our pens and commentaries and step out of our offices and libraries. To really understand and belive in the miracle on the cross, we'd do well to witness God's miracles every day." -Max Lucado

whose eyes?

Tonight I was faced with a question that answered a question I have been having for awhile. I am often looked at strangely or negatively commented when I make optomistic statements or try and look toward the future rather than dwelling on the past or something that I can't do anything about. This has confused me for quite some time and has saddened me greatly when friends get angry at me about it.

The question I was prompted with tonight was: Do you form your idea of what God is like by the things that happen around you? Or do you think of the things that happen around you based on who God is?

God has worked in my heart in amazing ways and has helped me to move toward the second of these two options. For awhile I asked questions like "well how is there a God if children are starving?", "why have I had so much hurt my life if God is love?", etc, etc. I was basing my opinion of God on the representation of Him by people and things in this world.

Bad move!! Not until I dove into the Bible and began to learn about God's heart could I begin to truly understand Him for who He really is. The stage where I was doubtful and questioning was necessary, for sure as a seeker. I am glad that I asked the questions that I did and I am certainly more glad that God revealed the answers to me.

So the next time I speak optomistically, matter of factly or extremely compassionately (and trust me, I don't do a great job of keeping this view all of the time), know that it is because God is working in my heart to help me know Him better. He is using people, places and things of this world to help me better understand who He is.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: Q

God is quiet.. or is He?

Some may say that God is completely silent and that He doesn't ever speak. Well, they are partially correct. God doesn't use an audible voice to speak to us. As Vince once said during a sermon-- that would be creepy and we would be checking in our closets for strangers!

God uses the Holy Spirit to speak to our minds and to our hearts. He uses His word, people, situations.. anything!

So yes, His "still, small voice" is in fact silent, but He is God and doesn't need audible words to change our lives.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: P

God is perfect.

"Practice makes perfect". I can't tell you how many times I heard that growing up in my dance classes and then later on on my cheerleading teams. But no matter how we practiced, we would never get a perfect score at competition. A girl may fall from a stunt, our tumbling would be out of sync, our technique not as sharp as it ought to be. I learned (not so quickly) that practice does not make perfect. There is no such thing as perfect on this Earth.

But our God is perfect. He didn't have to practice anything to get that way, He just is. His thoughts, actions and desires are all perfectly perfect. What a relief that our Creator is absolutely PERFECT and even though we were meant to be that way but messed it up, He and His perfectness have it under control.

Thoughts from Donald Miller

A few weeks ago I realized that the reason I couldn't finish a book for my life was because I wasn't enjoying the kind of books I was reading. In the beginning of my journey I loved the instructional types of books that offered me tools to help me grow as a Christian and become closer to Christ. I would honestly sit down and read a book like that in one sitting. It was fascinating to me as I was eager to learn and grow. Now, however, I read a chapter and I am bored with the material. I thought for a while that something was wrong, that perhaps this was one of my warning signs that I was straying away.

After a recent visit to Barnes and Noble, I have decided that that isn't the case at all!! I just needed a new kind of book. I purchased Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller, among a few others. This was a great story of how he found and saw God on a road trip through the west, living simply in the back of a van with a good friend. I highly recomment this book to anyone who wants to hear an honest account of his faith journey, the questions he asked, the troubles he faced and the beautiful God that he found.

I also recommend Blue Like Jazz by Miller which I have recently borrowed from the SPCC library and can't seem to put down! Here are just a few of Miller's thoughts that have really grabbed my attention:

-I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems of the world, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principal within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there, the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives inside my chest.

I love the truth and conviction that rings out of this. He later goes on to talk about how we all need to let go of ourselves a bit more each day until we learn to live for others. This is one of the fundamental ideas about Christianity, but poured out in an honest, new way.

-I don't think you can explain how the Christian faith works, either. It is a mystery and I love that about Christian spirituality. It cannot be explained, and yet it is beautiful and true. It is something you feel and it comes from the soul.

Now people may be saying, "well duh!" but others might now. And when reading about Don's journey throughout this book and the last that I read, I can appreciate how he has truly sought out God and felt him in his heart, tugging at and comforting his soul.

Please do yourself a favor and check out some of Donald Miller's writing if you haven't already!!

The sixth graders get it.

For the month of June I am substituting for parapfrofessionals in the Torrington school systems. So far I have been at the high school, middle school and one of the elementary schools. TMS has been my favorite so far and an incident today reinforced that.

I was grading history tests for Mrs. Vinal's sixth grade classes. One of the sections of the test the students were given a short passage about the emperors and the wealthy people in Ancient Rome. It talked about the large feasts they had with ostrich, doormouse in honey and other delicacies of the time. It went on to explain that the rich enjoyed many different types of entertainment during these feasts. After reading the passage, the students had four questions to answer. For the last one, they were to write down two questions that they would ask the wealthy Romans should they be able to talk to them.

"..My second question would be about why the poor people didn't get to eat with them." I was astonished. I took a second and prayed for the child with this response and then moved on. To my surprise, test after test... probably about 90% of them had asked a question about the treatment of the poor in comparison to the wealthy.

"What did the poor eat?"
"Why couldn't the wealthy people just share?"
"Did the poor people go hungry, or did they eat other stuff?"

It was amazing. These sixth graders seem to get it. They understand that there is a difference in lifestyle between the wealthy and the poor. Not only do they understand it, but they want to know why.

So I pose the question: Why, when we have so much, do so many go without so much? Why don't we share some of our everyday feasts with the hungry?

These sixth graders get it. in all of their innocence. I hope and pray that these children don't lose this perspective and they continue to ask this question. That they wouldn't be made out to be naive when doing so, but would stand up and ask the tough questions.

I pray that we all sit back and digest the question: Why don't we share our feasts? Or if we do.. why not share more?

Seeing God in a Recital.

Last night I was at Steve's house when his dad's girlfriend, Sherry invited me to come and watch her recital tonight. She explained how she has been teaching dance students from three different towns for years and how this is the first year where they will have all of the dances in one show. I was told that it would be held today at 7PM.

I shuffled through my schedule of the day and realized I would have to rush my gym workout, stuff dinner down my throat and drive quickly in order to get there. I was a bit frustrated at the thought of being rushed and I told her I would do my best to make it.

I wanted to be there to support her and her daughters and Steve's sister Britt whom I love so much.

I rushed at the gym, with dinner and getting there. Of course, I arrived 13 minutes early which pointed out that I didn't need to be in such a hurry to begin with. The curtains opened at 7:02 and the show began. Miss Sherry danced in the first dance along with her daughters and a few other students. Tears started falling out of my eyes.

As the dances continued, I watched dozens of little girls beautifully missing ballet steps and waving like crazy at their moms from the stage. I was amazed by the solos performed with such passion and gracefulness by the older girls. Tears kept unexpectedly falling from my eyes.

The show went on and with every dance, in every face-- I saw God. I saw joy and smiles and a passion for dance. I saw the gift that dance is and was so grateful to God for creating things like dance.

Sherry concluded the evening by saying that she is so blessed to share her God given gift with all of the children. Almost 100 students gathered on the stage and hugged and laughed, congratulated and of course the little ones were still waving at their mothers.

I left the auditorium, walked out the doors of the school and kept crying, thanking God for revealing His heart through a simple recital that I was hesitant to go to.

This may sound silly and I understand if you think so, but I absolutely love the way He grabs my attention and shows me a bit more of Himself when I least expect it. Praise Him for smiles, for little girls waving on stage, for Sherry and her wonderful talents and for recitals.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: O

O. God is One.

It took me a real long time to understand how in the world God can be God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

But let me tell you, I am thankful He is. He has worked in my heart and revealed Himself to me through the power of God, the love and teaching of Jesus and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Praise the Holy Trinity.

a simpler life.

"I want to make my life matter, but not in the way that our Western culture seems to care about (ie. making money, being successful and continuing to be upwardly mobile), but instead continuing to be the type of person who makes my life simpler in order that the few things that I have said “yes” to take precedence over everything else."

The above quote is from a blog that my friend suggested I check out. It is written by a man named Dave who is in Uganda for a couple of weeks. From reading his posts, it doesn't seem he is a follower of Christ, but that certainly doesn't mean we can't learn from him.

His statement about making his life simpler so that the few things he has said yes to really take precedence is extremely powerful. Since beginning my walk, I have undoubtedly lived simpler. Less gossip, fewer dollars spent on clothes, less time picking out what to wear, less money being spent on the latest trends, etc. I am grateful for the way God has worked in me in this area and I pray that He continues to. It takes a lot of discipline and is always something that I can be working on and need to be working on. It is especially important as I have just moved back home for the summer. Although I will still be spending each Sunday at SPCC, I am away from the Small Group I was with all year, away from my routine at school and just getting used to change again. This always makes it more difficult for me to keep me priorities in line. Reading Dave's post, and specifically that striking sentence was a great reminder.

Because I am very interested in having my life matter for God's Kingdom. I want more than anything to be able to live a simpler life so that the Only One I have said "YES! "to takes complete precedence in my life.

(I encourage you to check out his blog if you are interested in Uganda or just following him for the next week or so! www.daveinuganda.wordpress.com)

convincing imitations reflection

The daily devotional "Convincing Imitations" really connected with me and speaks about something that I come in contact with often. I have many friends at college and at home that notice the change in me and have questioned me about it. I feel so blessed when they do and I can share my story about God's love with them. But often times I get the "good for you but what I'm doing is working" gist. Not to say that they aren't happy and don't feel peace at the moment. I just wish there was a way for me to tell them... with words about how much more peaceful it could be, how much more loved they would feel... etc. One certain part of the devotional reminded me that I can do this, only not through words:

"Our calling is to bear witness faithfully to God and his saving power. We do this most persuasively, not by turning our staffs into snakes (an imitation that the Egyptians did before Moses to mock what God has previously done), but by living each day as a reflection of God's love and grace."

Each time I come across something like this I remember how important the small things are. I am reminded that when a friend needs a few extra minutes to talk, I need to listen. When there is a sink full of dishes at home, I should do them so my mom doesn't have to. I am reminded that no matter how mundane certain days may seem, each action is a chance to glorify God. A chance to witness to others and win hearts for His kingdom.

Not defiance, but defeat.

Three years old, parents yelling down the hall, divorce soon follows. Throughout her childhood and adolescent years,she asks herself "is he going to take mom away?" Jealousy floods her veins. A rough relationship with daddy. He's in and out of jail and never picks me up when he says he will.

Sixteen years old. Just broke up with a boy after almost two years. We thought we had it all, so I gave it my all. Was that all he was after?

Eighteen now, just graduated high school and headed to college. Things are looking up. Sophomore year, she loses herself. Time and time again, she allowed her body to be used. She is letting her soul be killed.
________________________________________________________________________________

I had been defeated. Over and over again, I was hurt. I allowed myself to do things I would have never dreamed of. I knew what love was like, but had been hurt in the midst of it so many times. Isn't this true for all of us? Whether it be a parent, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, a boss, a relative, a peer, ourselves.. haven't we all been defeated what seems like far too many times?
_________________________________________________________________________________

A breath of fresh air. A new friend with a different attitude, a different goal than all of the other guys. A genuine friendship, a partner to serve with. An invitation to a never ending Love in Jesus. A chance to learn the Truth.

Twenty one years old. Doing my best to live each day not for myself, but for my God. The one who has lifted the burdens of past defeats. The merciful Savior who has taken away my shame for my past actions. Flawed? Absolutely. A sinner? Yes, we all are. Hopeful? Excited? Exploring? Loving? Giving? Faithful through all of the mess and the defeats? By God's grace, each of these things has nestled into my heart.
__________________________________________________________________________________

God knew that I wasn't paying him any attention for my first 20 years of life. He knew that I was hurt and felt the reprecussions of defeat. He didn't punish me for being defiant, he was sensitive and compassionate and sought after my heart still, because He knew I needed tender love.

Perhaps our co-workers, family members, friends and complete strangers aren't being defiant quite often as we think they are. Maybe, just maybe they are scarred and scared. Maybe they need a hug and an ear to listen rather than a sarcastic remark or a sigh of disappointment.

Maybe they have been defeated just as much as we have, if not more.. but do not know about God and the work He has been, is and will continue to do in their lives.

Perhaps our co-workers, family members, friends and complete strangers aren't being defiant quite often as we think they are. Maybe, just maybe they are scarred and scared. Maybe they need a hug and an ear to listen rather than a sarcastic remark or a sigh of disappointment.

Maybe they have been defeated just as much as we have, if not more.. but do not know about God and the work He has been, is and will continue to do in their lives.

divine mysteries?

Today's reflection question: How do you deal with divine mysteries that exceed your understanding?

Well, for me.. there is still a lot that is a mystery. There are many questions that I ask myself while reading or that others may ask me to challenge me in my faith. I deal with these things through prayer. When things confuse me or I am left wondering and questioning why God would do something that He did or is doing, I step back to pray. I don't always get answers right away, of course. I do my best to keep my heart and mind open to the Spirit to receive answers to my questions.

I have come to terms with the fact that I just won't ever know it all. Not about this world, not about the bible, not about anything!! When I was younger I thought I knew everything (as we all did) but there came a time when I got a huge slap in the face.

Prayer Prayer Prayer. I just ask God and wait for an answer.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: N

God is new.

Is He? This is a hard concept for me to wrap my head around all of the time, so pardon me as I write this. A friend of mine once said to me simply "God is new everyday" and wow what a truth! We can certainly argue that He is old.. as He was the first, before any other!! He is the oldest.

But we see by grace and through love that He is new everyday. His Word has been around years and years and years, but each time we read it-- it hits us a new way. It may be a verse that I have read a hundred times, but it strikes me different today than it will in 2 weeks and then again in 2 years.

I think that so often we may forget the newness of God. We may get so caught up in the spiritual rituals that we don't take time to celebrate what He has to offer each and everyday.

So let us open up our eyes to God and his newness!! Let us not grow weary or tired of the monotony that we may acquire on our walks.

The equation for spiritual growth

Since being led to Christ, I have read many books, listened to many sermons, talked to many Christians and prayed.. a lot! I have taken classes at SPCC, gone on mission trips, served in the local community and my goodness I have come up with tons of equations for spiritual growth.

20 minutes of reading a day + 10 minutes of praying a day + 5 hours of serving a week + 2 meetings with Christian friends a week = spiritual growth

a mission trip to Panama + attending st. paul's every week + praying 20 minutes a day! = spiritual growth

reading John Ortberg's new book + reading from both the Old Testament and New Testament each day + praying by yourself and with a friend each day = spiritual growth

This gets tiring. I let myself down. Time and time again. I don't keep up with my goals for reading and praying and fellowship. I come short on my expectations of service.

Within the past few months, I have realized that spiritual growth is no crazy phenomenon, it isn't something that requires an extensive list of things to do each day. Growth does not come just by me reading the Word, and praying throughout the day, leading a small group and establishing new and meaningful friendships.

No. This is not it.

God = spiritual growth.

Without God it doesn't matter how much we read, how often we pray, who or where or when or how much we serve.. you get the idea. I'm listening to an old sermon from the 40 Days of Community "How We Help Each Other Grow". A wonderful parallel to the Wild Goose Chase series at SPCC now.

God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the trinity.. that is how we grow. Reading, praying, being in community, serving, ministering, etc.. those are the practical ways that we can grow through God.

Apart from Him, we can't and won't grow. We won't be able to help people, we won't be able to be helped, we just won't be what we were made to be.

reflections

I sit here after going back and reading my first post. And my second, and a few more between January 27, 2008 (my first day at church) and today, May 16 2009. I am beyond grateful for all of the work God has done in my life. I can't believe that in such a short period of time, He has managed to open up my heart (which was once made of steel although I didnt't let it show) and change me forever.

I reflect on the fact that my posts seem to be more routine lately. They aren't drawn from random inspirations throughout my days but rather from reflection questions from daily devotionals. I miss posting about everyday happenings and the way I see God in my life. Perhaps I need to start opening them and stop assuming that because I have invited God in and allowed Him to change me that I no longer need to keep my eyes open all of them.

I need to break the cycle, look at the beauty and take more than a minute to reflect on it and thank God for it.

Thank you to everyone who has stood by me through my journey, read and commented on my experiences and encouraged me over the past year and a few months. You have all been tremendous players in my walk and I am so thankful.

So let God's love flow and His beauty shine all around. Let us not be too quick to look away and say "oh but of course, I see this everyday". Let us be astonished each and every day by His creation, His workings in other's lives and of course His transformation of our hearts.

He is who He is.

The first thing we ask someone when we meet them, "What is your name?" We ask so that we may know that person on a slightly deeper level than "hey you", we ask so we can address them directly, we ask maybe because we care, possibly because it is what we are used to. I can't think of too many times when I have asked someone's name or they have asked mine and then we spiraled into a conversation about the meaning of our names.

God's name, however, should be asked about and we should seek to understand it. The last two daily devotionals do a great job explaining. The best part- it is such a simple translation, but is laced with mystery and wonder and awe.

God, aka, I AM. I read the posts and sat back to reflect and realized that there could be no better translation. He is who He is. He is forever, He is our LORD, He is our Savior, He is our protector, confidant, rock, friend, redeemer, love.. He is everything that is good. God is.

The questions for reflection ask :
How have you experienced God's reality in your life? How has God been present to you?
God has poured out Himself and His reality into my life everyday since I have known Him. The Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to see Him in the face of my boss, my best friend, a stranger, in the trees, to hear Him in the bird's song in the morning.. His fingerprints are everywhere and that is the reality He has made aware to me. In the same way, He is always present to me. It is up to me to open up and be present to Him. When I walk away, He remains. He waits to be invited back into my day. When I cling to Him, He stays true to His promise and He covers me with His wings.

In what ways do you need to know that I AM is with you today?
I need to know that I AM is here no matter what today, whether it is a day where I spend a lot of time in the Word or not. I need to be reminded that the Holy Spirit is at work in my life everywhere. Not just when I am meeting with small group or at church. I need to remember that I AM is ALWAYS. Always there, always loving, always challenging, always caring.

I just need to remember that HE IS today as HE WAS yesterday and HE WILL BE tomorrow.

In what ways do you need to know that I AM is with you today?

reluctance in leadership

Today's devotional was a bit of a slap in the face for me. Last year I was elected to lead People Helping People, a service oriented group on ECSUs campus. Myself and a friend were so excited to be sharing this role. We are both followers of Christ and were unsure as to what it would be like to lead a group that is not Christ centered. We decided that we needed to pray a lot about it and keep God as our focus when it came to PHP, even if it wasn't the group's focus.

Last night was the last meeting for the year. I turned over my position (as did my friend) and I will go back to being a member next year. I didn't enjoy the experience, it was something much else than I expected when I was elected. Is this because I didn't keep it in prayer and I forgot that I can do anything through Christ? Perhaps.. I like to think that it just wasn't a good fit for me and that I will do a better job of serving as just a member, but I don't know for sure.

Let us just remember that in any leadership position, whether it be big or small, leading believes or those who do not yet believe- WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS.

Holy Ground- Part 5

It is amazing how God lines up different readings and reminders that all have the same theme. I will post more about it later, but this was yet another reminder about leaving my pride behind to do God's work. To set myself apart from the ways of the world-- even though it is so difficult. This is from today's devotional and it spoke straight to my heart:

"Similarly, we have been set apart by God so that we might be devoted to the work of his kingdom. We abstain from certain sinful behaviors, not only to please God, but also to be effective in his service. We withdraw from the ways of the world so that we might bring the kingdom of God to the world. "

The question for reflection asks if I have ever had an experience like Moses where I was sent into the world for God's purpose. I would say the most clear example of this in my life is when I was called to go to Panama. From the first mention of the trip I was all in, because I knew it was something God wanted me to do. I prayed a ton, saved a ton, fought a ton of evil and went on the trip of a lifetime. I was used by God to minister to those I met in Panama. To play with the kids, pray with the adults, weep when some were sad and joke when someone needed a laugh. God helped me to build genuine relationships and to be a part of a team that built a relationship with a local church there. These were the building blocks for future trips and I knew I was sent there with God's purpose.

Lately, I am struggling with separating myself from some of the ways of the world. A few goals I have set for myself I am falling back on and would like to work on my discipline in these areas. I want to text less. It sounds silly, but I believe that it will help me to have a less hurried life. I also want to limit the amount of time I spend checking my email and facebook and blog, etc. I believe that these things will help me to be less hurried and also spend more time in the Word and praying. I need people to hold me accounatble.. anyone in?

Holy Ground- Part 4

This part of the holy ground devotional series was most easily applicable to my life. Two years ago I became an RA and was placed in Occum Hall. I was not a Christian and I was just living a lifestyle foreign to what I had ever lived and I knew it wasn't right. . I was a mess!! My boss, Joanna was the sweetest woman and we began to grow close. I learned that Christ was the center of her life but that still didn't mean anything to me because I had not allowed Him to enter mine.

As time went on and I began attending SPCC, she and I would talk about faith and I learned her story and she became a mentor. She is a women who truly walks "barefoot" in her workplace. She is great at maintaining the boundaries between professional and personal relationships and all of her actions are done with great love. I know that God placed me in this job to meet Joanna and learn from her.

She is truly an inspiration to me and I am blessed to work on holy ground that had been established long before I even started work. It has been wonderful to grow in my faith and share stories with her, to offer prayers for her and her family and ask her to pray for me. I am truly blessed to have the workplace I do and I hope to contribute to the love on the staff and to the compassion towards our residents.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: M

Mighty.

God spoke the world into existence. That is some power. He made me.. He made you. He created your dog, your mom's garden. He makes it rain, snow and glow in the summertime. He controls the tides moving in and out and brings the sun up each morning. He is in control.. and He takes His time so that hopefully none of His children will perish.

That is mighty patience, control, willpower, strength.. He is mighty.

holy ground- part 3

Reverence.

Until tonight I wasn't sure what that word meant. Dictionary.com helped me out and taught me it means to have deep respect tinged with awe. I began thinking about how we can worship with reverence and also experience intimacy. I think sometimes we may get caught up because they are so interrelated. Part of the reason we are in so much awe is because He calls us to be so intimate with Him. Because He cares about bad days, skinned knees, lost jobs, etc. We learn that He is beyond involved with our lives.. so it can be tough to step back and remember how important reverence is. At least for me..

I need to take some time to pray that God will help me to grow in this area so that I may show Him more reverence and worship Him fully.

holy ground- part 2

Today's reading discussed how we need to remember that not only is God our friend who can we take with us everywhere we go and chat with along the way, but also that He is Holy. He deserves to be worshipped as such, not always in such a casual way.

I think that I do a good job of being in constant conversation with God throughout the day. I am good at the casual stuff. I am not so good with the rest. I need to make more time for solitude, silent worship. I need to clear parts of my day to just be still and pray. There are times when at church I need to be still and wait. I need to prepare in the chapel before corporate worship begins.. these are things that I need to work on.

So here is to starting on these next steps!

holy ground- part 1 reflection

First and foremost, I want to say that this part of the devotional really jumped out at me and caught my heart: "Though God created the world and the world bears the stamp of his nature, God is not the same as the world. God is so much bigger and better than the biggest and best in creation. In him there is no hint of evil, no compromise of righteousness, no slackening of justice, no confusion of truth, no limitation of love. He is a holy God: set apart, special, unique." It is so wonderfully written and it really came into me and settled.

I think that so many times when bad things happen we associate them as coming from God. We look at the world around us and we attribute it to Him. But no, we are wrong. We have tampered with what He created. It is not on Him, it is on us.

So what comes to mind when I think of the word holy?

God
beauty
purity
wholeness
connectedness
Spirit
calling
..just to name the first few that come to mind.

But this is not always what has come to my mind. Before believing I could never understand who would want to go to church or believe in a holy God when it was just a list of "don't do this and don't do that". But this view, like many, have been changed by God's dear grace, by His mercifulness and His completely 100% holy nature.

i love my small group

I haven't been feeling very well lately and today I was saddened by the decision to not host small group. It is one of my favorite parts of the week and I hate to miss it. I also didn't want to cancel it all together just because I wasn't feeling well. I called Brit and she of course said that she would host this week. I let the other members know and a bit later I headed for my bed for a nice nap.

Just as I was dozing off, I heard a paper slide underneath my door. I figured it was a CAB announcement or a note from one of my residents. It was neither of these things. It was a simple card. Written in black pen on a white lined piece of paper.

"Get Well Soon. Chelsea, we all miss you and hope you start feeling better soon. We'll keep you in our prayers! You are amazing, rest up! Love you lots. Brit, Steph, Kate, Marcus."

I started crying because I was so happy to receive such a simple gift. It was such a simple act, but one full of love.

How do I "taste" God?

Starting off with these great daily devotionals that Ben has posted in Unifyer! I think this is such a great idea and really hope that other people blog about them as well :)

So how I "taste" God and experience Him most?

I would have to say that recently I encounter Him most when I look at my sister, or Steve.. or I get a message on facebook from a close friend with encouraging words to start my day. When I take a 10 minute drive off campus just to get away, and He meets me at the top of the hill and directs my gaze towards the beautiful tall grass blowing in the wind. It is in the everyday things that to some may seem mundane, that God has revealed Himself to me most lately. In a voicemail from little Jenna telling me she can't wait to see me this summer. Or in an accepted invitation to church by my mom. In the smile on my dad's face when he tells me that he is still going to AA meetings.

I see God here. I taste His sweet goodness in these moments. He is good.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: L

God is love.

I have this tattooed on me. I take it awfully seriously and it is the first characteristic I learned about God as a Christian. Before believing I may have said things like "God is fake" or "there is no God".. and the list goes on. But right here, right now.. I know that God is love. To say that He is loving isn't enough. It goes beyond that. He is the maker of everything. He doesn't just love us and the earth He created.. He IS love.

The purest, most beautiful and graceful love. The kind of love that we all ought to strive to show.

ABCs of God's Goodness: K

God is knowledgeable.

We think that when we get an A on a test or graduate with a 3.5 that we are smart.. that we are knowledgeable. We think that once we have been at a job for a few years and are in good stand with our boss, that we have got it down-- that we have gained all of the knowledge we need.

God knows everything. EVERYTHING!! He has all knowledge about all things because He created everything.

He is the real smarty pants :)

just some random fabulous photos :)

The ABCs of God's Goodness: J

Joyful.

Today I was reading The Life You Always Wanted and started a chapter called "Dee Dah Day". The author described a dance that his youngest daughter does throughout the day when she is happy-- called the Dee Dah Day dance. She runs around in circles single "dee dah day dee dah day". How beautiful. He then talked about how sometimes he interrupts her joyfulness for no good reason other than to hurry her downstairs or out of the tub. He admits that it is because of his anxiousness to always be on the move that he interrupts his daughters joy.

He admits this is wrong, because God created us to be joyful-- just as He is. He made this world and all that is in it and declared that it was indeed good. He made us to jump and down for joy and He does so with us each time we rejoice.

So rejoice and be glad, I say it again-- rejoice.

One Day Without Shoes: April 16th

Earlier this week I received an email from the TOMS crew asking me to join in on One Day Without Shoes. I absolutely love the mission of TOMS and of course decided I was in!

Today (well technically yesterday now) I walked around with no shoes. I went to my church, to the dining hall, to classes, walked to Dairy Queen and worked in the office as an RA. I got yelled at, stared at, questioned, admired and laughed at!! The reactions were varied, but the experience was totally worth it.

This morning when people were asking me if I was mad to do it or if it bothered me, I told them I loved to be barefoot and I had the comfort of knowing that I had shoes waiting for me in my room at the end of the day. By the end of today though, my feet are dirtier than ever, bruised from stepping on rocks, raw and extremely sore. I can't imagine what those children go through everyday without shoes on their feet.

Did you know that children in developing countries catch diseases through their bare feet being on the ground constantly? Did you know that these are 100% avoidable?

Did you know that in many countries children don't have shoes, their families can't afford them. If they are barefoot, many of them are not allowed to attend school. If they don't attend school, they remain uneducated and in turn, the poverty cycle continues.

Visit the TOMS website: www.tomsshoes.com and find out how you can help. Buy a pair of TOMS and they will donate a pair to a child in need- One for One! They make great gifts for birthdays, holidays or just because.

We have the power to change, so let's do it.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: I

Indescribable.

There are no words to describe exactly how powerful, beautiful, wonderful.. how everything God is. We can try to write poetry, paint pictures, tell stories, etc. but nothing that we can do or say will ever be able to capture His absolute-ness.

He is beautifully, mysteriously indescribable.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: H

God is heartbroken.

Could you even imagine creating a perfect, beautiful.. absolutely flawless Earth and everything on it? How accomplished would you feel? How proud and excited for all it was to be? Just to watch it take a turn for the worst.. it must be heartbreaking. But still He seeks after His children. Day in and day out. He remains faithful through His broken heartedness and He uses his heartbreak for our benefit.. it is a catalyst for His ever growing love and grace.

What great strength.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: G

God is GOOD.

Period. End of story.

He is GOOD.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: F

Frustrated.

God is frustrated.. and rightfully so.

God hates sin. He HATES it. Yet He is able to watch His people make mistakes over and over again and still remain loving, compassionate and faithful to us. The difference between us and God in the frustration department is that He handles it well. He doesn't yell at people or hit them, He doesn't lash out at His children because He had a bad day at work. He channels His frustration and manages to use it all for His glory.. some way.. some how.

He is frustrated and we ought to start doing more about it.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: E

Everlasting.

Everything about God is everlasting. His will, heart, mission, grace, love, promise.. and the list goes on. He will forever seek after His people to know Him and be one with Him. As one of my favorite songs says, "Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame."

All that our Creator is shouts never ending.. He is everlasting.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: D

Dedicated.

"Wholly committed to something" is the definition given for dedicated in the dictionary. Wouldn't you say that it doesn't get much more dedicated than God? We may dedicate ourselves to a job or career, but years down the road decide we want something else. Marriages often end because dedication was misconstrued along the way. Dedication in a friendship can be thrown out the window after one argument.

God never ceases to chase after us. He is wholly committed to His cause-- His people.

He sent His son to die for us.. now that is true dedication.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: C

Creative.

God is THE Creator; the most creative. The best artists in history could not complete any works near to what God made. From the rolling hills to the sweet smelling grass in spring. Reaching to the stars and back down to the sandy beaches. Stretching from mocha colored skin to that which is fair. From brown eyes to blue.. men to women. Elephants to ants. It is all His.. the great Creator.

The One who spoke it to be.. painted the grandest scene on a canvas so vast.

God is creative.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: B

Beautiful.

God is beautiful.

Although we can't see God, we know that He is beautiful. We know that there is none other. We are certain that He holds the most striking beauty. We know this because it glows from the inside out. He pours out His love to us day after day. He chases us day in and day out. Unbelievable love, mercy, grace, strength-- we know the list goes on and on. Let us try and be a bit more beautiful today.. the way God calls us to be.. beautiful on the inside.

B for Beautiful!!

The ABCs of God's Goodness: A

Awesome.

God is awesome.

Webster defines awesome as inspiring awe. I would say that this only touches the surface of what it means when we say that God is awesome. He is the one that leaves us in awe of the power of His amazing grace, caught in the reality of this truth, we are left with gratefulness too huge to capture into words. We are left with a heart wanting to learn more. We are hungry for Him, hungry to learn the way of Jesus.

God is indeed awesome.

a changing heart..

I logged into my online banking account today. I balanced my checkbook and paid off my credit card bill. I almost clicked the X on the top right corner of my computer when for some reason, I was left staring at my account overview page. For the first time in my life, I had money in both my checking and savings and it wasn't already budgeted to something.

Now don't get me wrong, I have college loans that need to be paid off, but other than that I am debt free. I began to rattle off reasons in my mind of how I had accumulated this money:

"Well I have been working to save more"
"I'm babysitting more this year than last year"
"I have been fundraising for my mission trips so it's not all money I've made"

So on and so forth.. I then realized that there is just no explanation that points to my habits as the source for what I have. Before beginning my walk with Christ, I was obviously not tithing. I wasn't sponsoring children through Compassion or the FACT program. I wasn't out buying baby clothes and food for soup kitchens every week. Instead, I was spending money on clothes or dinners out. I do not have exact numbers to compare as far as my spending goes between these two categories, but it just amazed me that I have as much money as I do.

God has blessed me abundantly. He has called me to tithe, to give give give and become excellent at being generous. If it weren't for Him, I wouldn't have the will to give and to save and use my money appropriately. I wouldn't have been given chances to travel abroad to love His people. I wouldn't have been blessed with people in my life who support me in these great adventures. it is all because of Him that I have what I do.

I am working to become a better follower by stewarding my money better. I want to spend my money not on things of this world, but on things of eternity. I want to invest in Heaven by investing in God's people.

I am going to need to some help being held accountable so I am inviting each and every one of you who reads this to do so. After these 40 Days, I truly believe that WE ARE BETTER TOGETHER.

something's gotta change

Superwoman has got to go.

Since my first year at school I have taken on many diferent roles both on and off campus that have filled my days with meetings, events, classes, etc. I learned which things I loved and had a passion for and which I would need to leave behind. I make a few people angry with some of my decisions and others very happy with them.

Right now I am completely overwhelmed. I have reached the point where I can't take on another meeting or class or event in my week. I need to re-evaluate the organizations I am a part of on campus and where my time is being spent. God gave us all 24 hours a day.. how many of those am I spending glorifying Him?

When I am trying to squeeze in time to read the bible and meditate on His word and when I am rambling through a list of prayers before bed, I am not being a good steward of the time I have been given. I want to be able to pick up my bible when I feel the urge to during the day, rather than just between 3 and 330 because that's the only time I'm in my room in a day.

Something has got to change. God is calling me to slow things down and has shown me this through tiring me out. This is going to be a very different thing for me, as I am used to the fast paced, busy, yet rewarding life.

But I need people to help hold me accountable. I need to working toward the ultimate reward.

He'd wrestle on the floor with your kids.

Not too long ago, Steve bought me a book by Max Lucado titled Everyday Blessings. I have enjoyed looking to this little book each day for a new verse and short but sweet explanation and/or application. This specific blessing had me laughing and simply filled with joy.

The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. John 1:14

Jesus was touchable, approachable, reachable.... He was the kind of guy you would invite to watch the Rams-Giants at your house. He'd wrestle on the floor with your kids, doze off on your couch and cook steaks on your grill. He'd laugh at your jokes and tell a few of His own. And when you spoke, He'd liksten to you like He had all the time in eternity. And one thing's for sure, you would invite him back.

How cute!! Such a fun way to remind us of a truth-- that Jesus lived among the people. He did the same things they did, lived in true community with them.

Enjoy!

george.

I headed down to Covenant Soup Kitchen to volunteer the way I do every Thursday. I prepared dinner for a bit, then finally got to get out into the dining room and hang out with the guests. I approached Jose and Pedro and a few of their friends who were playing dominos. I had played with Jose and Pedro in the past and had gotten to know them quite a bit.

I sat down and began talking to Jose.

"Be quiet. There's no talking across the table," George said.

"How come? I haven't seen Jose in a few weeks and I'd like to catch up," I asked.

"This is a game of concentration.. we don't talk to each other while we play. Besides, I keep to myself and barely talk to no one," George said as he pulled out a bottle of vodka and took a swig.

"Please don't tell Paul," Jose pleaded.

"George, please keep it away while we're playing and you're here. You're so lucky to be able to eat here, please don't abuse the privledge," I said.

He agreed and we continued to play and Jose and I caught up, being sure not to talk specifically about the game.

George got in a verbal argument with one of the men there, who he had recently "kicked the shit out of" as he put it. I prayed silently as the guests were served and George huffed and puffed about.

As I was leaving, George was outside smoking a cigarette and stumbling around. I told him that I hope he would have a good week and that I looked forward to seeing him next week. He asked if I was driving back to school and I answered yes and asked if he needed a ride somewhere.

I drove George home about 5 minutes away and we talked on the way and then for about 20 minutes in his driveway. He spoke about his love for his kids and how they had turned their back on him because they were fed up with his ways. I talked to him about how hard it was for me growing up with a father who was an alcoholic and how it is still very hard for me today. He was grateful to hear the other side of the story and told me that he saw God in my eyes when I spoke to him. I told him that God has a great plan for his life and that with each breath he is given new life and a brand new chance.

He thanked me repeatedly and as I told him he was so very welcome, he began to cry. I wept with him, crying because I knew that God was present in that moment and we had opened it up to Him in our conversation. I wept because I felt so bad for George living all alone, pretending he wasn't lonely.

Before I left he said "Chelsea, I probably won't remember who you are tomorrow-- because I'm so drunk right now, but I want you to know that you have touched my heart."

I told him that I would introduce myself again if he should fail to remember and we parted ways.

...... George.