soul cravings (5)

...So that pretty much left the invisibles or the rebels-- and aren't the rebels really just the ones who are desperately trying not to be invisible while knowing they don't fit in anywhere else? This is maybe why I'm so attracted to Jesus. If James Dean was the rebel without a cause, Jesus was the rebel with one.

A few days ago I received a message on facebook from one of my friends inviting me, and the rest of his brothers and sisters to join him in starting a Revolution. There was a link to his blog where the most recent post was about being a rebel with a cause. His New Year's resolution is to be a rebel with a cause, just as McManus describes Jesus as being. And how fitting that as we are called to live like Jesus did, that we would also be rebels with the greatest cause.

Andrew's post described how those of us who follow Jesus are rebels because it goes against the pollution of this world. This world is a place where it is so easy to be consumed in hate, corruption, materialism, selfishness and so on. The bible tells us time and time again to watch out for being polluted by the world and to stick to the Word in order to not get lost.

This year I join Andrew in continuing this revolution (as I believe the church has been growing stronger and stronger by the day). I commit to becoming more devoted to Jesus than ever before. I commit to abiding by the Word in order to continue the expansion of love. I commit to shining my light, as well as confessing my dark for all to see.

Will you join us as the rebels with His cause?

soul cravings (4)

What's on God's heart is not a list of rules or commands, but the expansion of love....All God wants for us in this is that we live in healthy, loving relationships.

Isn't that simply beautiful? So many times before I was a believer I questioned why anyone believed and followed the bible since it was all just a long list of things not to do. Once I began my walk, I was still a bit skeptical as I was making a lot of changes in my lifestyle to live according to the word.

Today, when I read that sentence in McManus' Soul Cravings, I am confident that it is exactly true. Working to adjust my behaviors to follow the rules and commands have certainly made it easier to work on the expansion of love. I am now able to be in sincere, healthy, loving relationships whether it be showing love to a stranger, maintaining a relationship with a family member or growing the nature of love in my romantic relationship.

I no longer give away my body in hopes for "love" in return. I do my best not to talk about others to people so that I fit in with them. I believe McManus in that the cry of God's heart is for us to be in healthy, loving relationships. There is far more talk of this in the Bible than there are of lists of things you can't do.

So once again.. let's love love love. It is what we are called to do.

soul cravings (3)

Home is ultimately not about a place to live but about the people with whom you are most fully alive. Home is about love, relationship, community, and belonging, and we are all searching for home.

I'm not going to lie, the first thing I thought of when I read this was Dory from Finding Nemo when she is begging Marlin not to leave her alone because "when she looks at him she feels home".

Shortly there after entered Vince's message from Imagine Christmas. The idea that during Christmas we all search for home. We don't want to go to a place where "when we have to go they have to take us in". We want to go somewhere where we are welcomed and where our arrival is anticipated with joy.

I know that I have wrestled with "home" issues many times in my life. Lately it has been that I feel most at home with my church family. I feel guilty saying that because of all that my mom and sister have done for me, because I love them so much and they are my two best friends. But it is the truth lately and hit me this Christmas. After spending an entire weekend with them for Imagine Christmas, it has been very weird being away for two weeks.

Jesus called to all who were weary and who found their souls exhausted to come to him and find rest. He is telling us that God will be for us our place called home.

After reading this, however, I stopped feeling guilty and began to feel challenged and encouraged. It makes sense that I would feel most at home with my church family because each person has uniquely attributed to the first steps of my walk with Christ. It is with them that I can pray and worship and that I got excited about my first real Christmas with. The challenging part came in when I was reminded that no matter where I go, God is always there.. He is my home. (Quite frankly I have made it kind of hard to see that when I am so focused on being the only believer in the house.) Sure it is great to share that home with my SPCC family, but I need to learn to be just as comfortable when I "have the house to myself" so to speak.

When we are having "home" problems and can't seem to figure out where exactly we belong, we may become anxious, depressed, nervous and a whole slew of other things. It is amazing, however, the weight that is lifted when we realize that God has enough room in His house for us all and He longs for us to fill up one of those empty beds.

soul cravings (2)

Love is not a limited commodity. Love expands as we give it away. Love dies when we do not.

This quote is one that is a true cry of my heart. Since being saved by Christ He has opened my heart more and more with each day. I am no longer bitter and calloused and trying to shut out the things in my life that used to cause me pain.

I have learned that loving someone does not mean that you have to like them. Love is a verb and by the grace of God I have been taught to do so. In the beginning, and still sometimes now, my friends hassle me when I tell them I love them. I have heard numerous times, "How can you love me when you love everyone?" or "You saying that is insincere because you claim to love everyone." For too long I let this bother me and I used to question my actions.

Today, however, I am confident in God's truth that love is not limited. It does expand when we give it away. The more I serve, minister and worship, the more my heart is filled to continue to love.

Just as the Desert Song says "I know I'm filled to be emptied again, the seed I receive I will sow."

So here is my challenge to myself and to you. Love. Love like we have never loved before. Let us reach out to people we may not like and reveal to them the greatest love ever known.. that of Jesus Christ.

soul cravings (1)

This Christmas I got three books that I am very eager to read. I started Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus tonight and although I'm only 12 pages in, I am hooked.

The book, which is written in short entries, is extremely inviting as McManus asks the reader to embark on a journey with him. The first pages talk about the unexplainable longing in our hearts for love. I have posted in the past on my thoughts about love. I finally realized that love goes far beyond family, friends and romantic partners. I believe that this book will capture that same notion and help me to encounter love in full force.

Here are just a few parts that struck me as profound:

"If you try to ignore it, if you think that you can live your life without love, you're in even worse shape than the person who's desperately trying to find it."

"Have you ever come face to face with the vacuum of love that exists within your soul? Have you ever had an unexplainable sense of loneliness even while you're standing in the middle of a crowd? At the same time you can be all by yourself and have a wonderful sense of connectedness with the world. You can enjoy being alone, but you can become lost in aloneness."

Anddd my favorite:

"We are created to know love and to give love. Our need to love, though rooted in God, is not limited to Him. Love is not a limited commodity. Love expands as we give it away. Love dies when we do not."
I think that while reading this book I will blog about a different part that speaks to me each day. I hope that you would follow me along this journey and give me your feedback. Also, I would already say that I recommend this book!

a few of my favorite worship songs

Sooo, I am on duty tonight as I was last night. What is great about duty over break is that there are barely any residents in the building and you're on by yourself! I have been very productive the past two nights getting things ready for Panama, working on bulletin boards and door decs and listening to worship songs the entire time.

There is definitely something to be said about having the soundtrack to 5 hours of your day be music speaking of His amazing love. It is refreshing, renewing, challenging, comforting, etc.

Two of the songs that I have been playing over and over are Chasing by Charlie Hall and Who Am I? by Casting Crowns. Both beautiful songs that really capture my heart. I encourage you to give them a listen :)

Chasing by Charlie Hall

Sweet Forgiveness,
My redemption
You're a savior once for all, and today
Oh the mercy, it comes to flood me
Jesus on the cross, You took my place

And I'm chasing after You
Because You first chased after me
And You purchased me with blood
I am free, I am complete
Now a child of my King
Leaving old I am made new
Because You first chased after me
I am chasing after Youuuuu..

Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done but because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord you catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours..

Who am I that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me



These songs are surely helping me to worship fully this advent season.

How?

While reading tonight's Advent readings, Romans 10:14 really captured my heart.

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they hae not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

With Imagine Christmas just finishing up a day ago and Christmas Day up ahead with a missions trip to Panama following closely behind that, God yelled this verse to me to make sure I heard it!

Romans 10:13 statesfor, "Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved." and then in verse 14 goes on to pose a few questions that can stir in everyone's hearts.

Sure, if you were raised in the church and in a community where you learned about Christ, learning His teachings was very accessible. Otherwise, there has to be a way that you were introduced to Him, brought to Him by Him through someone in this world. For me, it was a great friend inviting me to St. Paul's. God took that invitation and rocked my world with it.

It looks different for everyone, though-- being introduced to Christ. These verses were just very encouraging to remind me to go ahead, unafraid and speaking because God is with me (Acts 18:9-10). Whether it be through dance in Imagine Christmas, through small group, at the soup kitchen, in class, across the world on a missions trip, at the dinner table with my family, in a conversation with a stranger.. I must keep Him in my thoughts. I must ask Him to fill me with the words and with the love to proclaim His love to those who do not yet know Him.

Because without the people of His church actively seeking out those in His kingdom, they will be left in the dark without the invitation to salvation.

jumbled.

have you ever been at a loss of words?

ambivalent emotions swim through your thoughts

"wonderful, so wonderful is Your unfailing love" is the cry of my heart

yet i can't focus.. i ache and i pain

i hope and i pray as i turn my eyes to the sky

let me follow wholeheartedly

let me let You in to heal my heart..

Parking Lot Prayers.

Get ready to read about one of my favorites moments in my entire life and easily my favorite moment since my Christian walk has begun.

Last night I was at Imagine Christmas rehearsal rushing around to get props where they needed to go, trying to keep the young ones entertained, putting on stage makeup and visiting with some of my favorite people. We were about 5 scenes into the rehearsal when the fire alarm went off.

We had started using a new fog machine on the set and most of us figured it was due to the fog that the alarm went off. We gathered to evacuate the building while the young ones asked questions and scampered around and some of the lead adults instructed everyone on where to go.

What was amazing is what happened once we got outside. Most of us were half dressed (in terms of what we should be wearing outside in the winter), some of us were without shoes on the cold ground and all of us knew that we still had a lot of work to do left on the service before we could leave that night. What did we do once outside? Gathered around in a circle, held hands and prayed. We didn't complain about the cold or about how we would have to stay late. Nobody groaned about the "new stupid fog machines". Instead, we were thankful that we had rehearsals to figure this stuff out. We thanked God for that and prayed that He would bring this weekend together seamlessly and go before us in this work for Him.

It was beautiful. Forty or so people gathered around in a huge circle in the parking lot. Shivering, anxious, thankful and praying.

These parking lot prayers reinforced for me how beautiful my St. Paul's family is and just how good God is.

A new way to get dressed in the morning.

While reading through the Advent readings for today, a few versus from Ephesians caught me eye. Jeff had referenced them in a sermon he gave and they rang a bell in my head and my heart as I took them in again.

Ephesians 6:13-17

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your wasit, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

At first, the stunning imagery hit me. I can picture a warrior getting prepared for battle and buckling his weapons around his waist as he slips his helmet over his head, holds up his shield and draws his sword to the enemy. I then caught myself and wondered why I was picturing a warrior preparing for battle rather than God's children getting dressed for each and every day.

Here is where the metaphor struck me. We are called to wear His armor. To keep in the Word and to be in constant conversation with Him. To stand on His faith and persevere through the doubts and struggles. It is evident that these versus are instructing us to do just that, but it easy to get lost in the imagery and dismiss it as a warrior gearing up after hearing a battle cry.

This world is full of cries, full of pain and suffering. Let each mention of injustice, each desperate tear and each hungry belly be a battle cry to us. Let us suit up each day in God's armor, go out there and win hearts for His glory.

Advent Reading Reflections for 12.12

Philippians 3:12-16

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

Just a couple random thoughts that weighed in while I was reading:

But I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

This reminded me of Charlie Hall’s lyrics “I am chasing after You because you first chased after me”. I have worshipped to that song at church one time and to this day it sticks with me. Jesus persevered like crazy after me through my 20 years of not knowing Him and now I am happy to proclaim that I am chasing after Him!!

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.

There is no doubt that our past experiences influence who we are at this very moment, but this verse gets at something that is one of my core values. I have learned the hard way over the years that I can either dwell on the negative things in my past and let it bog down my present (and therefore future) or I can allow myself to be picked up and move on with a lesson learned and hope for the future.

Let us press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus by watching this season! A theme that was presented the first day of the Advent Conspiracy series, and that echoes in my head and my heart day after day.

oh how i love my residents :)

Let me just start by saying that I love my job as an RA. I posted last year at the end of the year on "True Life: I'm an RA" and talked about the year coming to an end and how it all flew by so quickly. Today, as we are approaching closing for the semester, I have many of the same feelings.

For the past few days I have been feeling really out of it (see the "." post I wrote prior to this one). I was unsure of what was causing it but knew that it was extremely frustrating. I spent time praying and thinking and reading but for some reason couldn't shake the feeling. I was foggy. UGHH.

Tonight I am on duty and just did my room inspections for the month. Upon returning to the office, I feel so much better! Interacting and laughing with my residents really seemed to me the cure for my fog.

This was a clear sign that I should NOT leave the RA position at the end of this year. I had been thinking about, not too seriously, but the thought was there. Joanna will be leaving at the end of this year and I will have a lot on my plate next semester, so this seemed like a possible logical option.

After tonight, however, I remember why I started this job in the first place and I realize why when people ask me "Do you like being an RA?" I always answer with "I love it!"

It may be a lot of work and very time consuming, but it is totally worth it. Laughing and joking around with my residents, answering their questions and reflecting on the semester cleared my head tonight and really got me in high spirits.

Oh how I love my residents!

.

stagnant
tired
slow
unproductive
dazed
puzzled
lost?
sitting
sleepy
focused?
hurting?
wishing
waiting
hoping
tired
tired
wrestling
hoping
tired
waiting
wishing
sitting
sleepy
lost?

wow.

Tonight during a conversation with Steve on the way home from church, I noticed something so remarkable. St. Paul's has three paid staff members. three. 3. t-h-r-e-e. All else that goes on is strictly volunteer work. St. Paul's is a church filled with followers eager to serve and minister and take part in missions.

From Kidmo, to the First Impressions team, the coffee mission, the prayer ministry, the worship team, those who come out for Saturday Serves each month, the tons of people working on Imagine Christmas, the tech team.. the list goes on and on and on.

It's simply amazing how Christ mobilizes so many hearts and brings us all together to advance His kingdom.

Wow.

Psalm 85 with pictures

These are a collection of some of the photos that I have taken ranging from last summer to this fall season. I thought it was beautiful how the phrases from this Psalm could be somewhat depicted by these photos.

Psalm 85:10-11

Love and faithfulness meet together



Righteousness and peace kiss each other



Faithfulness springs forth from the earth



And righteousness looks down from heaven.

Advent Reading Reflection for 12/5

Jeremiah 1:6-7

6“Ah, Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

7But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.

Prior to these words, it is told that Jeremiah had chosen by God as a prophet to all nations. God called him to do something huge in His name, and Jeremiah spoke back with an excuse as to why he wouldn’t be good enough for the job.

If there is one thing I have learned since my journey has begun, it is that God is definitely in the business of using the underdogs, the least expected, the hurt, the lost, the broken, etc. to do His work. Of course we all fall into one of those categories, but in the Bible, God chooses some of the seemingly most unqualified people to carry out His works. No matter how broken, lost, hurt, weak, scared or young we are—He will use us!!

And when He calls us forth, let us not make excuses about why we can’t, but rather put faith in His plan and move ahead with Him.

Great Gift Ideas!

I know I have already posted about TOMS as a great gift idea, but I would like to add to the list. Here are a few more causes that I absolutely love!! Get your loved ones a gift while the proceeds go to helping people in need.

(1) www.invisiblechildren.com Shop there store and purchase bracelets made in Uganda, a variety of different t shirts to raise awareness, DVDs, scarves and more!!



(2) www.beadforlife.org This website has a bunch of jewelry that is made by Ugandan women out of all recycled paper and such. The jewelry is beautiful and not very pricey. The money goes right back into their business!



(3) www.jedidiahusa.com Here you can buy a variety of different clothing items. The HOPE collection of T shirts are creatively designed and really beautiful. There are many different causes to choose from-- find what is near and dear to your heart and GIVE!



(4) www.betterworld.com Is somebody you know itching to read a good book? You can purchase new or used books on this site and all of the money goes to funding world literacy. You also get FREE SHIPPING **Book drives are done all over the country to collect books to be sold on the sight. Want to start a book drive at your school or in your area? Ask me about it!!**



You'll be getting great gifts, giving to great causes and avoiding traffic and waiting in lines to pay :)

we do not know or understand

But they do not know the thoughts of the LORD;
they do not understand his plan Micah 4:12

I have two thoughts on this verse that settled in my head and my heart after reading it over a few times:

1-As much as we may try to learn God's plan-- whether it be for ourselves, our friends, the world... whatever-- we just can't. This is the principle that faith is based on but that so many of us can easily lose sight of. He has plans for us that we could never fathom. We are called to steward what we are given, to bless others with the blessings we've been given, to surrender ourselves to His grander plan.

2-We wouldn't know what to do or say or think or feel if He revealed the plan to us. He works in such mysterious and awesome ways that we wouldn't get it. It would be impossible for us to understand how He was going to take something from point A to point B. This is because God is just so good. So merciful, awesome and mighty. His plans for each of us and for His kingdom are more extravagent than we can ever imagine.

Just earlier today I was feeling extremely tired-- not physically but mentally. Things have really been weighing on my mind and my heart and I can't stop thinking about them. Death, war, poverty, injustice... constantly turning over and over in my head asking why why why. I planned on posting about that at the end of the night.

That is until this verse hit me and reminded me-- faith, Chelsea. Lift it up, give it to Him and keep at it. His plans are greater than anything I could ever think up and it will all be resolved when the second advent is here.

it's beginning to look a lot like advent

Two or three weeks ago began talk about the advent season at St. Paul's. I had absolutely no idea what that meant but assumed it had something to do with Christmas. I have since inquired about the meaning of advent and was correct-- it is about Christmas!! The birth of Christ. I did not realize, however, that during advent we not only celebrate His birth but we really focus on and look forward to Him coming back.

The sermon series started a week early last week and last night was the second week-- both of them have been amazing. The messages are full of practical tips on how to watch for Jesus (Mark 13) during this advent season and I look forward to applying this series to my entire life. After all, every Sunday we are celebrating Jesus and all that He does and indeed we are working for Him while waiting for His return.

As apart of the advent season, SPCC distributed an advent reading calendar which has been really great in helping me to celebrate and learn about this for the first time. Tonight one of the readings was Micah 4:1-7 and the verses really touched my heart and brought tears of joy to my eyes:

In the last days, the mountains of the LORD's temple
will be established as chief among the mountains;
it will be raised above the hills, and people will stream to it.
Many nations will come to say, "Come, let us go up to
the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob.
He will teach us his ways so that we may walk in his paths."
The law will go out from Zion, the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes
for strong nations far and wide.
They will beat their swords into plowshares and thei spears
into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore.
Everyone will sit under their own vine and under their own fig tree
and no one will make them afraid,
for the LORD Almight has spoken.
All the nations may walk in the name of their gods;
we will walk in the name of the LORD our God for ever and ever.

There is no particular verse that catches my eye anymore than the others-- it is just full of hope and spoken so eloquently. It also lead a song that we sang in worship last night into my heart.


As surely as the sun will rise, you'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears

You'll come, let your glory fall as you respond to us,
Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again, you'll come.

So this advent season, let us not be caught sleeping. Let us be watching for Jesus and seeing God in each of our moments of everyday. Let us celebrate His birth and look forward to when He returns.