Saturday, October 18, 2008

i just love quotes.

Here is a collection of quotes that I came across while looking up reflection exercises for service projects.

"A different world cannot be built by indifferent people." -Horace Mann

"If we do not act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality and strength without sight." -Martin Luther King Jr.

"I believe that serving and being served are reciprocal and that one cannot really be one without the other." -Robert Greenleaf

"I believe we should fight for the unrealistic, rather than defend the unacceptable." -Bill Shore

"We do not learn from what we do. We learn from thinking about what we do." -Anonymous

Profound. Comforting. Challenging. Beautiful.

pasta and meatballs.

Tonight at Hurley they had pasta and meatballs for the first time this semester. It's so silly how something so small turned my night around, haha.


What if we always looked for joy in such small things?

Friday, October 17, 2008

resilient?

He never ceases to amaze me. God seems to speak to me through the books that I read more than anything else. If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you may remember my post on Being Afraid of Being Afraid. In that post, I mentioned how God had spoken to me through two different Christian books in just two days. Well, what do you know-- it has happened again.

This semester I am taking a course called Psychopathology of Childhood. We are learning about many different disorders as well as risk factors that children have to getting the disorders, so on and so forth. A theme that has come up that always catches my attention is resilicency. I can remember being in a support group in middle school with children who had alcoholic parents and the leader of the group telling me that I was extremely resilient. Of course at the time I had no idea what that meant so I nodded and smiled and thanked her (assuming it was a compliment since a smile and a huge hug followed the statement). Over the years, this topic has always caught my attention when it comes up and just recently I have been giving it a lot of thought.

Growing up I has a loving mother and a great sister whom I assumed as my responsibility when my parents got divorced. Those two ladies were my lifelines. I was without a father in my life for the most part, my mom had boyfriends moving in and out of the house, I got into the habit of cutting myself for awhile and I also tried to take away my life twice. (I have not been able to share this information publicly but feel that those who read this know me and love me and accept who I am. I also speak of it so matter of factly because it is apart of the past and has only made me stronger and helped me to move forward.) Now you may be thinking-- and how exactly does this qualify you as resilient?

You can take one look at me and talk to me for just a few minutes to find out that my attitude on life has completely turned around since the days when I didn't want to live. The times when I was so sad because I "didn't have a dad" or because "my mom didn't like me as much as she liked her boyfriend".

Little did I know then that it was God saving me again and again. It was Him preparing me to live the life He has called me to. I claimed to be a nonbeliever for years and years (maybe because of the pain I felt when I was younger) but it all makes sense now.

Mark Batterson in In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day puts it like this, "I'm convinced that the people God uses most are often the people who have experienced the most adversity...Adversity can produce an increased capacity to serve God." He goes on to explain that, "God wants to redeem the adversity you've experienced. He wants to recycle your adversity and turn it into a ministry..God is in the business of recycling our pain and using it for someone else's gain."

Batterson also clarifies that it is up to us to take on this ministry, because otherwise-- our pain remains just that-- painful. Also, the capacity in which we help others heal is largely related to the tough spots we have encountered.

WOW. Talk about my world being rocked. "No one rolls out the red carpet and invites tragedy into their life, but our greatest gifts and passions are often the byproduct of our worst tragedies and failures. Trials have a way of helping us redisocover our purpose in life." Remarkable.

God has been right there all along. Since the day I was born. I just never opened up my eyes to see Him. There have not been too many moments during my walk so far where I have stopped and said "ohhh yeah there He was way back then setting me up for now". But believe me.. this has opened my eyes big time. He has taken my pain and turned it into a ministry and I have finally agreed to follow through with it wholeheartedly. So.. resilient? Yes. Because of His love? You bet.

Dive in. Where were the places that you can look back to and see God now even though you couldn't then? I would love to hear your stories.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

food for thought

*Your ultimate destiny and what you accomplish in life will in large part be determined by the way you choose to live life on a daily basis. The operating principles you adopt and the philosophies you apply determine who you become and affect what you accomplish. The old maxim is true. 'Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.'

Who we become basically is a composite of the habits we live by. These mold and shape our ultimate destiny in this life. Character is far more than mere thoughts. It is what we do, even when we are mistreated.

*To many people, life is a big experiment to determine what brings happiness and what brings pain and sorrow. Experience, though, can be a harsh teacher. God not only allows us to choose the wrong way, but He also insists we make our own decision. Yet most will not believe God knows best until they spend a lifetime learning from the ways of life that do not work. Living life on the edge with no absolutes can be a very unstable and painful process. Experiencing hard knocks and evil consequences from wrong decisions and actions is a very destructive, demoralizing and futile process.

God compels us to choose! Yet He wants us to choose the way that leads to real, lasting and eternal success. God challenges each of us: "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19).

( both of these points come from http://www.verticalthought.org/issues/vt09/future.htm )

*God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go.

*Courage is doing what is right regardless of circumstances of consequences.

*It's our past problems that prepare us for future opportunities.

*The most important choice you make everyday is your attitude. Your internal attitudes are far more important than your external circumstances.

( these bits came from Mark Batterson's In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day )

Each of these statements have entered into my daily readings over the past few weeks and really just reinforce the truth in my decision that God is where I need to be centered. It is through Him that I can love, care, grow and simply be. With my eyes on Him, my heart constantly flooding with His love and my thoughts always going back to His grace, it is difficult to be down about any situation. It is also encouraging to know that this moment.. this day.. this life... is so much bigger than me.. right here.. right now.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

getting into the groove

Since the TEXT series at SPCC, I have been working on getting back into the groove when it comes to reading the Bible regularly. It was very helpful when after one of the sermons we broke up into small groups and talked about our current strategies if we had any, and what our future plans were. We were asked to come up with a time and a space to read, as well as a plan for what we would read. In the past I had just opened up to any ole place or referred back to my favorite parts. While any reading is better than no reading, I have quickly learned that guided reading is the key. I certainly do not have it down perfect and never will, but I am learning that when I have a plan for what I will read, I am excited to dive into His word and read on in the story.

For the past two weeks I have followed a plan laid out on the SPCC website under one of the Bible Tools. It was two weeks on the life and teachings of Jesus and let me just tell you that each day I was amazed. There were many parts that I had heard before-- whether they were word for word or just referenced, but there were also a lot of new parts that filled in the blanks.

Next week I will begin reading on the life and teachings of Paul, and after that two weeks on the Old Testament which I am really looking forward to. I have barely read any of the Old Testament besides Proverbs and Psalms and an really looking forward to diving in.

I also need to move forward and develop specific times and places each day that I will read according to my plan. Although I do read everyday, it can sometimes be rushed between classes or done when I am very sleepy after work and right before bed.

But as always, Praise God. For giving me the disciplined and curious heart to learn more through His word.

What techniques work for you? Any suggestions on praying through the bible?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

i find strength in my weaknesses
hope when i'm lost... love when i feel hated
i'm showered with grace when i least deserve it
sheltered or pushed ahead, depends on the day
perfect balance of come and go
light covers dark when i open my eyes
i am alive when i surrender my every moment..

Monday, October 6, 2008

looking back.

There is a song that we worship to at KidMo on Sunday mornings with the kids.. and I absolutely love it. The woman's voice is beautiful and the rhythm is so catchy. Most of the other songs are cute and the kids really enjoy them, but this one really grabs my heart and speaks to me. Perhaps it is because in a sense (well more than one) I am just like those children-- I am a new believer.

"Looking at where I was before... You've shown me so much more."

And my God it is so true. When dancing to this song with the kids we turn around and pretend to look back with our hands over our eyes while singing "looking at where I was before" and then turning around, opening our eyes and stretching out our arms singing "You've shown me so much more".

These past few weeks have been so wonderful and with each passing day I am more and more amazed at the changes He has made in me. At the beginning of my walk I began to become extremely grateful for almost everything. This was amazing to me because in the past I had been quite the semi-selfish grouch when it came to many things. Next, I felt Him really changing my heart and helping me to love everyone, including my enemies. That was my prayer at SPCC during the open doors ceremony.. to love my enemies. Wow, God took that prayer and answered it in a HUGE way.

Another drastic change has been in my thoughts for the future. Before I was saved, I had a plan for exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, the kind of house I wanted to live in, how many children I wanted to have and what their names would be... you get the picture. Amazingly, He has called me to let go of all of that and open up my eyes to the possibilities that he has laid out in front of me. I'm often worried about missing God's calling for my life but was comforted today when I read, "God wants you to be where He wants you to be more than you want to be where God wants you to be." My point is, I am comfortable without knowing what tomorrow holds because I know that no matter what it is, He will be there.

I could go on and on about how I have been changed, grown and taught over the past 9 months, but none of it would do Him justice. I am just so thankful for His grace and greatness.

Friday, October 3, 2008

i miss my girls.






It is amazing how much I can miss children sometimes. These four girls that I babysat this summer have stayed in my heart since the day I came back to school. They are just beautiful little ones and I love them so much!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sensory Overload.

October 1st.

Emma's smiling face, "Chelsea knock knock" I hear her say as the sound of her little feet pitter patter to the door. "Ood morning, how ah youuu?" she asks. What a beautiful way to start my days, such a beautiful child. Her mom leaves for the hospital instead of work this morning. Her little actress is about to make her way to the stage.

Baby enters the world. After all of this wait, Ralanna is here.. 9 lbs 8 oz, healthy as can be. Pictures reveal to me charcoal strands flowing in the direction of her gorgeous caramel face. Smiling mother, glowing and proud father, friends gather around to witness this miracle.

Four artists performing on a stage, one goal-- touch the audience. Inspire the uninspired. Visions of my future flash before my eyes and my heart is moved. The music stops, the scene ends, the lights go down. The door to my fears is slammed shut-- He calls me to proceed.

The cool night air whips through my window and breathes new life into my lungs. Fall is settling into our everyday. The leaves have changed. They dance their way to the ground as the wind flirts with their every move.

Words flow over this digital screen. A message from a friend warms my heart. A love like no other reminds me that we are real.

Bzzzzz, Bzzzzz. My phone vibrates. A number I've never seen before. "Hey Chels I just wanted to call and see how your night was going and talk to you about the shuttle to SPCC." Sigh. He is good.

He is good.