convincing imitations reflection

The daily devotional "Convincing Imitations" really connected with me and speaks about something that I come in contact with often. I have many friends at college and at home that notice the change in me and have questioned me about it. I feel so blessed when they do and I can share my story about God's love with them. But often times I get the "good for you but what I'm doing is working" gist. Not to say that they aren't happy and don't feel peace at the moment. I just wish there was a way for me to tell them... with words about how much more peaceful it could be, how much more loved they would feel... etc. One certain part of the devotional reminded me that I can do this, only not through words:

"Our calling is to bear witness faithfully to God and his saving power. We do this most persuasively, not by turning our staffs into snakes (an imitation that the Egyptians did before Moses to mock what God has previously done), but by living each day as a reflection of God's love and grace."

Each time I come across something like this I remember how important the small things are. I am reminded that when a friend needs a few extra minutes to talk, I need to listen. When there is a sink full of dishes at home, I should do them so my mom doesn't have to. I am reminded that no matter how mundane certain days may seem, each action is a chance to glorify God. A chance to witness to others and win hearts for His kingdom.

Not defiance, but defeat.

Three years old, parents yelling down the hall, divorce soon follows. Throughout her childhood and adolescent years,she asks herself "is he going to take mom away?" Jealousy floods her veins. A rough relationship with daddy. He's in and out of jail and never picks me up when he says he will.

Sixteen years old. Just broke up with a boy after almost two years. We thought we had it all, so I gave it my all. Was that all he was after?

Eighteen now, just graduated high school and headed to college. Things are looking up. Sophomore year, she loses herself. Time and time again, she allowed her body to be used. She is letting her soul be killed.
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I had been defeated. Over and over again, I was hurt. I allowed myself to do things I would have never dreamed of. I knew what love was like, but had been hurt in the midst of it so many times. Isn't this true for all of us? Whether it be a parent, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, a boss, a relative, a peer, ourselves.. haven't we all been defeated what seems like far too many times?
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A breath of fresh air. A new friend with a different attitude, a different goal than all of the other guys. A genuine friendship, a partner to serve with. An invitation to a never ending Love in Jesus. A chance to learn the Truth.

Twenty one years old. Doing my best to live each day not for myself, but for my God. The one who has lifted the burdens of past defeats. The merciful Savior who has taken away my shame for my past actions. Flawed? Absolutely. A sinner? Yes, we all are. Hopeful? Excited? Exploring? Loving? Giving? Faithful through all of the mess and the defeats? By God's grace, each of these things has nestled into my heart.
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God knew that I wasn't paying him any attention for my first 20 years of life. He knew that I was hurt and felt the reprecussions of defeat. He didn't punish me for being defiant, he was sensitive and compassionate and sought after my heart still, because He knew I needed tender love.

Perhaps our co-workers, family members, friends and complete strangers aren't being defiant quite often as we think they are. Maybe, just maybe they are scarred and scared. Maybe they need a hug and an ear to listen rather than a sarcastic remark or a sigh of disappointment.

Maybe they have been defeated just as much as we have, if not more.. but do not know about God and the work He has been, is and will continue to do in their lives.

Perhaps our co-workers, family members, friends and complete strangers aren't being defiant quite often as we think they are. Maybe, just maybe they are scarred and scared. Maybe they need a hug and an ear to listen rather than a sarcastic remark or a sigh of disappointment.

Maybe they have been defeated just as much as we have, if not more.. but do not know about God and the work He has been, is and will continue to do in their lives.

divine mysteries?

Today's reflection question: How do you deal with divine mysteries that exceed your understanding?

Well, for me.. there is still a lot that is a mystery. There are many questions that I ask myself while reading or that others may ask me to challenge me in my faith. I deal with these things through prayer. When things confuse me or I am left wondering and questioning why God would do something that He did or is doing, I step back to pray. I don't always get answers right away, of course. I do my best to keep my heart and mind open to the Spirit to receive answers to my questions.

I have come to terms with the fact that I just won't ever know it all. Not about this world, not about the bible, not about anything!! When I was younger I thought I knew everything (as we all did) but there came a time when I got a huge slap in the face.

Prayer Prayer Prayer. I just ask God and wait for an answer.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: N

God is new.

Is He? This is a hard concept for me to wrap my head around all of the time, so pardon me as I write this. A friend of mine once said to me simply "God is new everyday" and wow what a truth! We can certainly argue that He is old.. as He was the first, before any other!! He is the oldest.

But we see by grace and through love that He is new everyday. His Word has been around years and years and years, but each time we read it-- it hits us a new way. It may be a verse that I have read a hundred times, but it strikes me different today than it will in 2 weeks and then again in 2 years.

I think that so often we may forget the newness of God. We may get so caught up in the spiritual rituals that we don't take time to celebrate what He has to offer each and everyday.

So let us open up our eyes to God and his newness!! Let us not grow weary or tired of the monotony that we may acquire on our walks.

The equation for spiritual growth

Since being led to Christ, I have read many books, listened to many sermons, talked to many Christians and prayed.. a lot! I have taken classes at SPCC, gone on mission trips, served in the local community and my goodness I have come up with tons of equations for spiritual growth.

20 minutes of reading a day + 10 minutes of praying a day + 5 hours of serving a week + 2 meetings with Christian friends a week = spiritual growth

a mission trip to Panama + attending st. paul's every week + praying 20 minutes a day! = spiritual growth

reading John Ortberg's new book + reading from both the Old Testament and New Testament each day + praying by yourself and with a friend each day = spiritual growth

This gets tiring. I let myself down. Time and time again. I don't keep up with my goals for reading and praying and fellowship. I come short on my expectations of service.

Within the past few months, I have realized that spiritual growth is no crazy phenomenon, it isn't something that requires an extensive list of things to do each day. Growth does not come just by me reading the Word, and praying throughout the day, leading a small group and establishing new and meaningful friendships.

No. This is not it.

God = spiritual growth.

Without God it doesn't matter how much we read, how often we pray, who or where or when or how much we serve.. you get the idea. I'm listening to an old sermon from the 40 Days of Community "How We Help Each Other Grow". A wonderful parallel to the Wild Goose Chase series at SPCC now.

God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the trinity.. that is how we grow. Reading, praying, being in community, serving, ministering, etc.. those are the practical ways that we can grow through God.

Apart from Him, we can't and won't grow. We won't be able to help people, we won't be able to be helped, we just won't be what we were made to be.

reflections

I sit here after going back and reading my first post. And my second, and a few more between January 27, 2008 (my first day at church) and today, May 16 2009. I am beyond grateful for all of the work God has done in my life. I can't believe that in such a short period of time, He has managed to open up my heart (which was once made of steel although I didnt't let it show) and change me forever.

I reflect on the fact that my posts seem to be more routine lately. They aren't drawn from random inspirations throughout my days but rather from reflection questions from daily devotionals. I miss posting about everyday happenings and the way I see God in my life. Perhaps I need to start opening them and stop assuming that because I have invited God in and allowed Him to change me that I no longer need to keep my eyes open all of them.

I need to break the cycle, look at the beauty and take more than a minute to reflect on it and thank God for it.

Thank you to everyone who has stood by me through my journey, read and commented on my experiences and encouraged me over the past year and a few months. You have all been tremendous players in my walk and I am so thankful.

So let God's love flow and His beauty shine all around. Let us not be too quick to look away and say "oh but of course, I see this everyday". Let us be astonished each and every day by His creation, His workings in other's lives and of course His transformation of our hearts.

He is who He is.

The first thing we ask someone when we meet them, "What is your name?" We ask so that we may know that person on a slightly deeper level than "hey you", we ask so we can address them directly, we ask maybe because we care, possibly because it is what we are used to. I can't think of too many times when I have asked someone's name or they have asked mine and then we spiraled into a conversation about the meaning of our names.

God's name, however, should be asked about and we should seek to understand it. The last two daily devotionals do a great job explaining. The best part- it is such a simple translation, but is laced with mystery and wonder and awe.

God, aka, I AM. I read the posts and sat back to reflect and realized that there could be no better translation. He is who He is. He is forever, He is our LORD, He is our Savior, He is our protector, confidant, rock, friend, redeemer, love.. He is everything that is good. God is.

The questions for reflection ask :
How have you experienced God's reality in your life? How has God been present to you?
God has poured out Himself and His reality into my life everyday since I have known Him. The Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to see Him in the face of my boss, my best friend, a stranger, in the trees, to hear Him in the bird's song in the morning.. His fingerprints are everywhere and that is the reality He has made aware to me. In the same way, He is always present to me. It is up to me to open up and be present to Him. When I walk away, He remains. He waits to be invited back into my day. When I cling to Him, He stays true to His promise and He covers me with His wings.

In what ways do you need to know that I AM is with you today?
I need to know that I AM is here no matter what today, whether it is a day where I spend a lot of time in the Word or not. I need to be reminded that the Holy Spirit is at work in my life everywhere. Not just when I am meeting with small group or at church. I need to remember that I AM is ALWAYS. Always there, always loving, always challenging, always caring.

I just need to remember that HE IS today as HE WAS yesterday and HE WILL BE tomorrow.

In what ways do you need to know that I AM is with you today?

reluctance in leadership

Today's devotional was a bit of a slap in the face for me. Last year I was elected to lead People Helping People, a service oriented group on ECSUs campus. Myself and a friend were so excited to be sharing this role. We are both followers of Christ and were unsure as to what it would be like to lead a group that is not Christ centered. We decided that we needed to pray a lot about it and keep God as our focus when it came to PHP, even if it wasn't the group's focus.

Last night was the last meeting for the year. I turned over my position (as did my friend) and I will go back to being a member next year. I didn't enjoy the experience, it was something much else than I expected when I was elected. Is this because I didn't keep it in prayer and I forgot that I can do anything through Christ? Perhaps.. I like to think that it just wasn't a good fit for me and that I will do a better job of serving as just a member, but I don't know for sure.

Let us just remember that in any leadership position, whether it be big or small, leading believes or those who do not yet believe- WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS.

Holy Ground- Part 5

It is amazing how God lines up different readings and reminders that all have the same theme. I will post more about it later, but this was yet another reminder about leaving my pride behind to do God's work. To set myself apart from the ways of the world-- even though it is so difficult. This is from today's devotional and it spoke straight to my heart:

"Similarly, we have been set apart by God so that we might be devoted to the work of his kingdom. We abstain from certain sinful behaviors, not only to please God, but also to be effective in his service. We withdraw from the ways of the world so that we might bring the kingdom of God to the world. "

The question for reflection asks if I have ever had an experience like Moses where I was sent into the world for God's purpose. I would say the most clear example of this in my life is when I was called to go to Panama. From the first mention of the trip I was all in, because I knew it was something God wanted me to do. I prayed a ton, saved a ton, fought a ton of evil and went on the trip of a lifetime. I was used by God to minister to those I met in Panama. To play with the kids, pray with the adults, weep when some were sad and joke when someone needed a laugh. God helped me to build genuine relationships and to be a part of a team that built a relationship with a local church there. These were the building blocks for future trips and I knew I was sent there with God's purpose.

Lately, I am struggling with separating myself from some of the ways of the world. A few goals I have set for myself I am falling back on and would like to work on my discipline in these areas. I want to text less. It sounds silly, but I believe that it will help me to have a less hurried life. I also want to limit the amount of time I spend checking my email and facebook and blog, etc. I believe that these things will help me to be less hurried and also spend more time in the Word and praying. I need people to hold me accounatble.. anyone in?

Holy Ground- Part 4

This part of the holy ground devotional series was most easily applicable to my life. Two years ago I became an RA and was placed in Occum Hall. I was not a Christian and I was just living a lifestyle foreign to what I had ever lived and I knew it wasn't right. . I was a mess!! My boss, Joanna was the sweetest woman and we began to grow close. I learned that Christ was the center of her life but that still didn't mean anything to me because I had not allowed Him to enter mine.

As time went on and I began attending SPCC, she and I would talk about faith and I learned her story and she became a mentor. She is a women who truly walks "barefoot" in her workplace. She is great at maintaining the boundaries between professional and personal relationships and all of her actions are done with great love. I know that God placed me in this job to meet Joanna and learn from her.

She is truly an inspiration to me and I am blessed to work on holy ground that had been established long before I even started work. It has been wonderful to grow in my faith and share stories with her, to offer prayers for her and her family and ask her to pray for me. I am truly blessed to have the workplace I do and I hope to contribute to the love on the staff and to the compassion towards our residents.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: M

Mighty.

God spoke the world into existence. That is some power. He made me.. He made you. He created your dog, your mom's garden. He makes it rain, snow and glow in the summertime. He controls the tides moving in and out and brings the sun up each morning. He is in control.. and He takes His time so that hopefully none of His children will perish.

That is mighty patience, control, willpower, strength.. He is mighty.

holy ground- part 3

Reverence.

Until tonight I wasn't sure what that word meant. Dictionary.com helped me out and taught me it means to have deep respect tinged with awe. I began thinking about how we can worship with reverence and also experience intimacy. I think sometimes we may get caught up because they are so interrelated. Part of the reason we are in so much awe is because He calls us to be so intimate with Him. Because He cares about bad days, skinned knees, lost jobs, etc. We learn that He is beyond involved with our lives.. so it can be tough to step back and remember how important reverence is. At least for me..

I need to take some time to pray that God will help me to grow in this area so that I may show Him more reverence and worship Him fully.

holy ground- part 2

Today's reading discussed how we need to remember that not only is God our friend who can we take with us everywhere we go and chat with along the way, but also that He is Holy. He deserves to be worshipped as such, not always in such a casual way.

I think that I do a good job of being in constant conversation with God throughout the day. I am good at the casual stuff. I am not so good with the rest. I need to make more time for solitude, silent worship. I need to clear parts of my day to just be still and pray. There are times when at church I need to be still and wait. I need to prepare in the chapel before corporate worship begins.. these are things that I need to work on.

So here is to starting on these next steps!

holy ground- part 1 reflection

First and foremost, I want to say that this part of the devotional really jumped out at me and caught my heart: "Though God created the world and the world bears the stamp of his nature, God is not the same as the world. God is so much bigger and better than the biggest and best in creation. In him there is no hint of evil, no compromise of righteousness, no slackening of justice, no confusion of truth, no limitation of love. He is a holy God: set apart, special, unique." It is so wonderfully written and it really came into me and settled.

I think that so many times when bad things happen we associate them as coming from God. We look at the world around us and we attribute it to Him. But no, we are wrong. We have tampered with what He created. It is not on Him, it is on us.

So what comes to mind when I think of the word holy?

God
beauty
purity
wholeness
connectedness
Spirit
calling
..just to name the first few that come to mind.

But this is not always what has come to my mind. Before believing I could never understand who would want to go to church or believe in a holy God when it was just a list of "don't do this and don't do that". But this view, like many, have been changed by God's dear grace, by His mercifulness and His completely 100% holy nature.

i love my small group

I haven't been feeling very well lately and today I was saddened by the decision to not host small group. It is one of my favorite parts of the week and I hate to miss it. I also didn't want to cancel it all together just because I wasn't feeling well. I called Brit and she of course said that she would host this week. I let the other members know and a bit later I headed for my bed for a nice nap.

Just as I was dozing off, I heard a paper slide underneath my door. I figured it was a CAB announcement or a note from one of my residents. It was neither of these things. It was a simple card. Written in black pen on a white lined piece of paper.

"Get Well Soon. Chelsea, we all miss you and hope you start feeling better soon. We'll keep you in our prayers! You are amazing, rest up! Love you lots. Brit, Steph, Kate, Marcus."

I started crying because I was so happy to receive such a simple gift. It was such a simple act, but one full of love.

How do I "taste" God?

Starting off with these great daily devotionals that Ben has posted in Unifyer! I think this is such a great idea and really hope that other people blog about them as well :)

So how I "taste" God and experience Him most?

I would have to say that recently I encounter Him most when I look at my sister, or Steve.. or I get a message on facebook from a close friend with encouraging words to start my day. When I take a 10 minute drive off campus just to get away, and He meets me at the top of the hill and directs my gaze towards the beautiful tall grass blowing in the wind. It is in the everyday things that to some may seem mundane, that God has revealed Himself to me most lately. In a voicemail from little Jenna telling me she can't wait to see me this summer. Or in an accepted invitation to church by my mom. In the smile on my dad's face when he tells me that he is still going to AA meetings.

I see God here. I taste His sweet goodness in these moments. He is good.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: L

God is love.

I have this tattooed on me. I take it awfully seriously and it is the first characteristic I learned about God as a Christian. Before believing I may have said things like "God is fake" or "there is no God".. and the list goes on. But right here, right now.. I know that God is love. To say that He is loving isn't enough. It goes beyond that. He is the maker of everything. He doesn't just love us and the earth He created.. He IS love.

The purest, most beautiful and graceful love. The kind of love that we all ought to strive to show.