I did it.

Remember reading my posts back before summer started when I was terrified about coming home for various reasons? Well imagine this-- I am still alive and well... I did it!

With the Leadership Summit still fresh in my mind, I am continuing to process all of the information and encouraging words and there is no doubt that I am changed. I couldn't have imagined a better ending to my summer. There were hardships that varied in nature- losing friends, growing apart from others, many tears, being rejected, feeling lonely.. and the list goes on. But I wouldn't trade a second of it for the feeling I have in my heart right now in this moment.

I just left the house of a good friend of mine who I grew apart from after high school as we kind of expected. But Maddie and I had always had a friendship that could withstand the test of time and distance. We love each other so much and every time we get a chance to catch up (which isn't often) we just talk our little hearts out and get right up to speed. I have learned a great deal about friendships this summer and would say that I have definitely grown in the relationship department, something that was very difficult, but also so necessary. I no longer allow myself to be walked all over, but yet still make myself available when my old friends want to talk or need me. I am able to recognize now more than ever that everyone is in a process, and that the friends that we are meant to stay close to, we will-- through the test of time and the test of distance. I am so thankful for those in my life who love me unconditionally and support me and respect me all the while not having to agree with me.

I did it. I overcame my fear of being at home for the summer since it was inevitable that I would be here. I didn't have a choice of whether or not I wanted to be courageous enough to stand up to it. Everyday was something new. A new smile, a new child in my life, something totally silly with Ashley, a beautiful new experience with God, a new friend, an old friends warming smile, a brand of lonliness I had never felt before, the cold waves of the ocean over my body, the warmth of the sunshine on my back, the coolness of a rain shower on my skin, an argument with my mom... all apart of the process.

I can't wait to see what is in store for me for the rest of my days.
Some say that the best way to worship God is by being happy. I certainly am having no problem with that at the moment and want to say thank you to those of you who put smiles on my faces.. even when you may not know it.