Surrender Your Agenda.

This idea of “Surrendering Your Agenda” came up in the sermon given tonight by Ben at SPCC. It was one of four steps to T.E.S.T.ing God’s will.

Talk to God.

Examine the scriptures.

Surrender your agenda.

Tap into others.

_____________________________________________

Do any of you have an idea for where you want to be in 10 years?

Sure. A lot of us do. But, do you make it an absolute agenda? A must? Are you positive that it is where you will be, and that you will have certain things and accomplish certain goals, no matter what?

Two years ago, had I been faced with these questions, I would have answered, “Yes, of course.” And I would have explained that after college I planned to marry, get a nice house, have kids and eventually open my own counseling center for children.

Two years ago I had an agenda for my life that I was certain I would follow. I would chase after the “great American dream” where everyone is happy and has dogs running around inside their white picket fences. We have all wanted it, dreamed about it and hoped that it would come true at some point or another.

Today. Sunday, March 30, 2008. I am confident that I have surrendered this previous agenda, and any agenda for that matter. Sure, I have a “To-Do List” that I have made with things that I hope to do when I am finished with school. The items on this list, however, have strayed away from “get married, buy a house, have kids and then develop my career.”

Today. Sunday, March 30, 2008. I have high hopes for what is to come in my life, but I am putting it in my faith that I will do what I am meant to do.

This does not mean that I am throwing my hands up and telling God to lead me where he wants me. This does not mean that I am going to live day to day with no care in the world and become lazy because my purpose is coming. It means quite the opposite. It means that I am doing what I have already been instructed to do and waiting for the push to do the rest. I am living each day with more love and compassion than the previous and holding strong to what I believe.

So, when I do graduate school… will I visit Africa? Will I travel New England and spread the cause of the Invisible Children? Will I run a non-profit organization? Will I attend graduate school? Will I volunteer with Americorps? Will I open my own counseling center for children?

I don’t know. These are things that right now, in this moment seem like a good fit for my life down the road. But for once, I am fine and find comfort in the phrases “I am flying by the seat of my pants” or "I am going wherever the wind blows me". I am at peace with the idea that I do not know exactly what is coming, but I am sure as anything loving the search.

My relationships and encounters over the past few months have taught me that it isn’t all about knowing right where you will be in the future, for we are always apart of a process and things are constantly changing. Surrendering your agenda and putting faith in yourself and in God (for we are all apart of a grander plan)-- that is what it is all about.

Live with intention, love what you do, listen to what you have already been told, and wait for the rest.

Untitled.

Fire falling all around.

Strength is lost.

There is no sound.

No control, out of reach.

She’d give anything if she could just teach.

Planets crashing, her world ripped apart.

Where is the feeling, the love from the heart?

End scene.

Awake. A new day.

Nothing in the way.

The stream of light from His sweet soul.

Compassion and care—the ultimate goal.

Hard work, perseverance,

The only way for transformation.

Three small, but crucial words,

Learn, act, believe-- show dedication.

She will slip, she will fall.

She will make mistakes.

She’ll get back up and do whatever it takes.

Holding onto her faith, her love and her smiles.

This girl’s got a lot in mind, she’ll be around for a while.

:)

HAPPY EASTER.

This weekend has been filled with powerful services at St. Paul's and just wonderful energy.
With the emotion evoking service on Good Friday and the Easter Vigil along with my baptism last night, I am looking forward to the Easter service today in a big way.

Simply beautiful.
Thank you God.

HAPPY EASTER.

i stand for the power to change
i believe in the perfect day
i love til it hurts like crazy
i hope for a Hero to save me
i stand for the strange and lonely
i believe there's a better place
-Idina Menzel

This song, first played to me by my best friend, is so true to the things that I believe in and the things that I stand for.

I stand for the power to change.
With every passing day, I find more and more truth in the idea that people have the power to do just that. A lot of times I think that we overlook issues that seem too large to tackle and we just assume that they must be meant to be that way. As each day goes by, it becomes more and more evident to me that people have so much power in changing things they feel passionate about. Although passion works wonders in mobilizing people to act, it is not enough. We must reach inside ourselves and commit to working towards change.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." —Margaret Mead. This quote, which is hanging on my wall, reinforces the idea I have brought up above, and is confirmed in my life through PHP, St. Paul's and the IMPACT conference that I recently attended. Feel it in your heart and mobilize with your thoughts, words and most importantly- your actions.
I stand for the power to change.


I live for the strange and lonely.
Upon first coming to Eastern, I had decided to major in Psychology and planned to counsel children as my profession. It was a clear path in my mind that I never thought I would stray from. I have since added minors in Sociology and Business, as well as getting certified in Non-Profit Management. Now you may be asking yourself-- "What in the world does this girl want to do with her life?" The answer: EVERYTHING! I have expanded my thoughts on what I want to do after graduating Eastern. These things include: traveling to Africa, working as an Invisible Children Roadie, running a non-profit organization, attending grad-school for a masters in counseling psychology.. and the list continues. I plan to touch on all of them at some point in my life and wish that I could do them all now, but the important thing is, I will be reaching out to people who aren't always thought about, and when they are, it is not in the best light.

People in Africa are sometimes sympathized with, but other times just disregarded because "they live in another country, we can't even help the people in our country". The Invisible Children (also from Africa) are certainly lonely in the sense that before 3 young American men went to Uganda and captured their story, very few people knew about them. Those who benefit from non-profit organizations are in need or services that they can't get on their own whether it is due to homlessness, sickness, a tragic accident, or any other multitude of things. Often, people who fall under these categories are looked at as strange (by most of society) and are certainly lonely to some extent. Working towards a masters in counseling psychology will lead me to a degree where I can counsel children who are having problems at home or in school whether it is with fitting in, dealing with peers, handling living with a parent who is a substance abuser, etc. I have chosen to live a life that will help those who are looked at strange and those who are lonely.
I live for the strange and lonely.

I believe there's a better place.
St. Paul's has been my agent in finding Jesus and God and figuring out exactly where they fit in my life. Everywhere is the answer. I don't belive that I can or should just call on God when I need Him. He is forever present and has His hands in all of the things that I do. With every action, especially service, there is more meaning to me than ever before. Because of this, I know that there has got to be more than just this Earth.
I believe there's a better place.

i stand for the power to change
i believe in the perfect day
i love til it hurts like crazy
i hope for a Hero to save me
i stand for the strange and lonely
i believe there's a better place
-Idina Menzel

just absolutely astonished

Soooo many beautiful things going on.

*Eastern's Community Service initiative is really blossoming and I am so excited to be apart of its new development!
*Schools for Schools is right on track and Chris and I will be putting together the logistics for our big fundraisers and we will be helping out the Invisible Children in no time.
*My time at St. Paul's is becoming more and more beautiful with every service.
*My summer job is going to kick butt! Babysitting for 2 of the coolest families in Connecticut.
*I am going to work with an organization that I was apart of when I was younger (that helps children with parents who are substance abusers) and put together a social/community engagement program to do with them for the summer.
*THE SUN IS SHINING AND I AM WEARING FLIP FLOPS.
*Spring Break is next week and I get to spend time with Mom and Ash and all of my friends.
*My birthday is March 20th! Always a fun day :)
*I will be returning to Occum as an RA next year, along with the rest of the best staff on campus ;).

THINGS ARE JUST SO BEAUTIFUL.

Thank you God.

and now it all makes perfect, perfect, perfect sense.

The world is blanketed with so much beauty.
Filled with so many individual shining stars.

Before beginning my journey, I wrestled with the question of what the unifying force for all of this beauty was. What could possibly bring the beauty together rather perpetuate the competition between it all? Where exactly does this great power lie?

The piece shown in the picture above answers this question, at least in my heart.

JESUS. Faith. Love. Trust.

Each symbol in this piece is beautiful on its own.
Some remain beautiful when paired with another.
Some are still beautiful even when combined with several.

It is hard, however, to see the true beauty of the individual symbols when you look at the piece as a whole. All of the colors, lines and shapes seem to blend together, overlap, intertwine, get in the way of each other, etc. Where did I go wrong in creating this piece of art?

I didn't. I meant for it to be confusing, busy and maybe even proclaimed as ugly. This is a perfect example of the way I see the world. Infinite beauty (in the form of people, organizations, actions and words) caught up in other things, getting in the way of one another and getting mixed up.

Read the message written across the canvas if you haven't already.

"and now it all makes perfect, perfect, perfect sense. <3 Jesus"

He is the unifying force over all of this beauty. His word, His light, His acts are what brings together each beautiful symbol and makes everything work together. It is under His blanket of wisdom and grace that the world makes sense to me.

Each of these symbols, each of these shining stars contribute to something much greater (a novice painting, an entire universe). It's our world. Let us uncover all of its beauty and potential.

"We are Catalysts"

catalysts: 1. a substance, usually used in small amounts relative to the reactants, that modifies and increases the rate of a reaction without being consumed in the process

2. one that precipitates a process or event, especially without being involved in or changed by the consequences

Definition number one clearly refers to catalyst in the chemistry world while the second defintion pertains to people; individuals, groups, organizations, etc.

After reading them both and thinking it through, I will use the chemistry definition, yet talk in terms of people as catalysts.

Substance=those who are compassionate and caring for the human race as a whole.

Reactants=the situations and people in need of this compassion, love and care.

Reaction=positive change, big or small.

The last part of this definition is where it gets tricky to define. "without being consumed in the process"... what does consumed mean? Isn't it okay for the "substances" to change as well as long as they produce the desired outcome? Of course it is. In order to get the desired chemical reaction, each element must be combined in a very specific, almost perfect way.

This means that in order for a person to go out into the world, into a difficult situation, they always need to be equipped with unconditional love. When unconditional love is mixed with any other element, there is nothing but good that can come out of it.

One part of this definition first appeared as unfortunate to me: when applied to people, catalysts typically include a small amount of the substance to transform the other element. After going over the definition again and again, I realized that it is actually beautiful that it only takes a small amount of the substance. This means that if people can reach inside and just try to extend a small amount of love to others, the transformation can be complete.

The issue is: there needs to be many. Many people who are willing to try and give a bit of themselves and leave a bit of selfishness behind to serve.

We are all capable of being catalysts. We are all capable of going out into the world, whether it is right outside your door, down the street, across town or around the world. Not only should we go out into this beautiful world that has been laid out before us, we should go out ready to spread love, to make positive change and to better ourselves but never become "consumed" or completely taken over by any other element.

Unconditional love.

Never ending care.

Everlasting FAITH.

So let us all get out there. Live and love.

Let us all work hard to become catalysts, and be proud of doing so.