The type of church service shouldn't matter. The kind of music, the length of the message, the clothes people are wearing, the building we sit it... none of that should matter. At church, if we are in a community that we feel challenged yet safe around, we should just sit and praise Him. Open our hearts to His love and recognize His place in our lives.

I spoke with a friend of mine tonight after the service at SPCC about the different style of music compared to the summer services at 6 oclock. I brought it up saying simply that it was different and that I prefered the worship style from the summer. My friend agreed and I suggested to her that she attend the 4 oclock which I believe has the same style that she is used to.

Thinking about it now, I am glad that it was different tonight and that I wasn't absolutely in love with it. It breaks the cycle of what is comfortable and makes me look past the singers and hear past the guitar and feel past the rhythm of the music. It forces me to remember why I am singing the songs in the first place rather than maybe just falling into the pattern of doing it.

Of course, when the worship team at SPCC is in the middle of "From the Inside Out" by Hillsong, there is a feeling I will never be able to describe and I often wish they just sang that song over and over but there is also a place for different styles, ones that we aren't used to and that take some trying to get into.

After all.. it is all about Him.

"Year in Preview"

At the beginning of each school year, I am emailed a copy of Housing's "Year in Preview" that is sent to all of the RAs. It is just that-- an overview of the deadlines and important dates of the year. Dates when residents move in and when we have training and when forms need to be handed in along with when we must perform room inspections and go to in-service workshops and when exams begin and move out dates and so on and so forth. All of that in one neat little PDF file like it is no big deal.

In a way, it really does describe the way a year goes-- it is here and gone before we know it. On the contrary, it is the exact opposite of what I feel sometimes.. that there is so much packed into each one those days! Classes, babysitting, meetings, duty, studying, programming, gyming, playing with friends.. just so much to look forward to! I can remember times when I layed down last year at the end of the day and just didn't want to sleep because I could get more done if I stayed up. Other nights I just couldn't fall asleep because I was so excited about what was to come, and of course there were nights where I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow. But yet they all seem so trivial when lined up one after another with a designation next to each.

Looking at this year in review all planned out and clear cut on this form makes me less nervous about it all and encouraged to wake up and give each and everyday my all. To make them not just dates on a sheet of paper but changes in the lives of others as well as my own, and mistakes learned from and advances in my degree and my leadership... to make them count.

Anyone else psyched for this school year to begin?

seeking advice.

I just got done having a conversation with a person close to me that I should have known would go wayyy south. I need to know where the line is when it comes to talking about God and what it means for me to be a Christian. When people ask me questions, I like to answer.. imagine that. And for some reason, I always give this certain someone the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe he is genuinely intersted rather than trying to prove me wrong and stand correct that "there is no God and I should give up this gig."

It is not only with him however, but with other friends and family and sometimes even strangers. I don't parade around the streets yelling to the masses that I love Jesus, but sometimes I wonder why I don't. I then realize the sad truth that there are so many stereotypes for Christians just like any other group of people. Because of these, we watch our actions and the way we handle talking about our Lord in a certain manner to not "freak people out" or scare them away from the idea of this unconditional love.

I have read over and over in the scriptures that we are not to be silent about Him and we are to go out and spread the good news.

One of the desires of my heart is to lead people to Him in a non forceful but influential way. I generally wait for the topic to be brought up and then I am very careful to not get mad at the person or irritated with their views because (1) I remember where I was a year ago and it makes me bite my tongue and (2) that is not a very good way to channel my frustrations.

Any advice on where that line lies? Or experiences that you have had and would like to share? I could really use lots of help in this area.

soul revolution.

Just yesterday I began reading Soul Revolution by John Burke. The book was graciously given to me as a gift from two people whom I have grown to love and be very thankful for. Burke, the author of the book was one of the many inspiring speakers from the Leadership Summit which I attended last week. During his talk at the Summit, John Burke made mention of his book Soul Revolution along with an experiment that he tried in his church. 60/60. It's so simple-- set a watch or some kind of alarm to remind you once an hour to get connected to God. Wherever you are, whether you say it silently to yourself, scream it off of a rooftop or write it down, just get connected. Now do this for 60 days. Along the way, he had the members of his church share with each other the results after journaling on their own about it. Now there is an entire blog site dedicated to it at http://www.soulrevolution.net/ (check it out!)

Now I know that I said I just started reading the book yesterday.. and that I have just wholeheartedly commited to the experiment today, but I have to tell you that since the Summit, I can't help but be in somewhat constant conversation with Him. I don't think I could avoid it if I tried and that is so comforting. It has not even been a week since the Leadership Summit but I have been changed and there is no doubt about it. When we cling to Him and set our focus on His love we begin to view life in a whole new way.

Just yesterday when starting to read the book, John Burke suggests an exercise for us to learn the deepest desires of our hearts. One of the things that I wrote was to be accepted and respected by my sister (who has always been my best friend and we have had a tough summer together due to change being difficult to accept). Now the next part of this exercise was to try and decide if our deepest desires were those in God's heart. I had a few that I knew would definitely make His list, a few that I knew would NEVER make the list, and then a couple like the one about my sister-- ones that I want to believe would be important to Him since He wants us to be happy, but they also aren't what I believe to be His biggest concerns. In any event, after no prompting of the conversation, I got a series of text messages from my sister telling me that she loves me so much and is proud of all that I stand for. That she never meant to make me upset and that no matter how much I change, she will never leave me.

Wow. After a summer of tough discussions and feeling partly shunned by her, it was cleared up and healed. He sealed the deal within a matter of minutes and about 5 text messages (thank God for cell phones ;) ). And that is only one testimony to how I have seen Him in this past week.

Really guys, for all maybe 10 of you who read this (and that is being hopeful), I strongly encourage you to try this "experiment" and to read Soul Revolution. "I pray that whether a seasoned follower of Christ or a skeptic with just an ounce of willingness, that you will devote sixty days to see for yourself."

Do I think that I will connect every hour for the next 60 days? Of course not..it is all a process.. the idea is based on an ideal and we all know that we fall short of those. However, I pray that as the days go on I can get closer and closer and connect more often until it becomes a natural way for me.

Please, I am begging you to give it a try.. you won't be disappointed.

I did it.

Remember reading my posts back before summer started when I was terrified about coming home for various reasons? Well imagine this-- I am still alive and well... I did it!

With the Leadership Summit still fresh in my mind, I am continuing to process all of the information and encouraging words and there is no doubt that I am changed. I couldn't have imagined a better ending to my summer. There were hardships that varied in nature- losing friends, growing apart from others, many tears, being rejected, feeling lonely.. and the list goes on. But I wouldn't trade a second of it for the feeling I have in my heart right now in this moment.

I just left the house of a good friend of mine who I grew apart from after high school as we kind of expected. But Maddie and I had always had a friendship that could withstand the test of time and distance. We love each other so much and every time we get a chance to catch up (which isn't often) we just talk our little hearts out and get right up to speed. I have learned a great deal about friendships this summer and would say that I have definitely grown in the relationship department, something that was very difficult, but also so necessary. I no longer allow myself to be walked all over, but yet still make myself available when my old friends want to talk or need me. I am able to recognize now more than ever that everyone is in a process, and that the friends that we are meant to stay close to, we will-- through the test of time and the test of distance. I am so thankful for those in my life who love me unconditionally and support me and respect me all the while not having to agree with me.

I did it. I overcame my fear of being at home for the summer since it was inevitable that I would be here. I didn't have a choice of whether or not I wanted to be courageous enough to stand up to it. Everyday was something new. A new smile, a new child in my life, something totally silly with Ashley, a beautiful new experience with God, a new friend, an old friends warming smile, a brand of lonliness I had never felt before, the cold waves of the ocean over my body, the warmth of the sunshine on my back, the coolness of a rain shower on my skin, an argument with my mom... all apart of the process.

I can't wait to see what is in store for me for the rest of my days.
Some say that the best way to worship God is by being happy. I certainly am having no problem with that at the moment and want to say thank you to those of you who put smiles on my faces.. even when you may not know it.

just excited.

With one of the most exciting events of the summer coming up and my move in date for going back to school approaching, I am finding myself very excited to get back into the swing of things. The Leadership Summit is coming up this Thursday and Friday and after just looking over the schedule, praying about it and studying His word, I am very fired up and ready to go and learn better ways to lead. The best thing about all of it is that it is wrapping up my summer and beginning my semester where I will be reunited with my RA position, my peer mentor role as well as my new role as a co-leader of PHP.

I can't wait to see all of the amazing ways He moves me within these next few weeks and throughout this year.

Praise God.