Manage the situation. Don't let it manage you.

This idea found me this morning while i was sitting in RA training learning about conflict mediation. The presenters were two of my fellow RAs and they were doing a great job. They had many take home points and were very descriptive in describing different conflicts we may encounter. I was very engaged in this presentation with the RA frame of mind when all of a sudden my gears shifted.

I read on the powerpoint and heard one of the presenters say "Manage the situation. Don't let it manage you."

What came to mind was not two roommates fighting over spilt milk or a room full of drunk guys yelling at me for writing them up. Instead, many situations in my personal life surfaced. Situations where I had been managed, rather than being the manager myself.

And I am not talking about being the boss of a sitation and telling people what to do, or giving people the solutions that I would use to fix a problem they are facing. I am talking about managing myself within a situation so that I can better handle a difficult conversation, hearing bad or surprising news, or feelings after leaving a place where I felt annoyed or uncomfortable.

All too often I let myself be managed by things around me that I have absolutely no control over. I get upset and worked up about someone's actions and let it weigh me down for days.

I need to learn to manage situations.. manage myself and my feelings both while it is happening and afterwards. I think that I will find myself much less stressed if I remember this small phrase with such potential for positive change.

Do you manage situations or let them manage you? Something I had not thought much about until today.. but encourage you each to think about.