"Are you afraid of being afraid?" Part II

If you are someone who keeps up with my blog, then you remember a recent post about how I figured out my fear by accidentaly hearing a coversation with two young girls on the jungle gym at a park. I am afraid of being afraid.

I have been wrestling with this and praying about it for the past week or so, and God has certainly intervened. He has been exposing me to knowledge about fears left and right. I just finished Wild at Heart (which I recommend highly to any man who is looking to understand his design better or any woman who wants a little more insight into what really makes up a man). I was reading through the book pretty quickly and was looking forward to finishing it and reflecting on the entire message. I was tired last night and ready for bed but turned the page and continued reading the next chapter anyway. What I read on the next page was wonderful: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." You may recognize this quote, for it is famous and was spoken by FDR during his inagural speech. The author of Wild at Heart uses many quotes and excerpts from the bible and various books. This one, however was quite fitting.

How perfect. I don't think there could have been any more of an obvious signal to me that God had heard my prayers about my fear. There I was, ready to turn out the light, put the book down and pray, again for the courage to face my fear. Instead, I read just a bit more and went to sleep feeling both comforted and challenged, of which I prefered the second. I don't want to sit around and be fine with being afraid of being afraid, after all-- it is all we really have to fear anyway right? I would rather take it as a challenge, a fire lit beneath me to go out there and face being afraid and grow from those occurences.

I went to sleep last night thankful for my prayer being answered, but little did I know it was only the beginning.

I finished Wild at Heart this morning, and a few hours later began reading In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day. (I have had a real passion for reading lately so figured that I would embrace it and enjoy the sunshine and a few good books this weekend). I read through the first chapter and then the second and was really enjoying it so far, when I came to a section in the third chapter titled "Facing Fears". Imagine that. Two times in two days. (And in my last post I used this same phrase referring to frustrations. God certainly works in unexpected, beautiful ways.)

I came across a sentence which was very confusing to me with my fear in mind: "Your fear is worse than the actual thing you're afraid of." Hmm. If that is true than that means that my fear of being afraid is actually worse than being afraid- how encouraging, for real! The next sentence set in stone the fact that God has prepared me to go out and face my fears: "And if you learn from every mistake, then there is no such thing as failure anyway." I am a firm believer in learning from mistakes and probably use it as my biggest piece of advice to people. These two sentences were just phenomenal together and spoke volumes to me.

Two times in two days. I was shown that God has heard my prayer and seen that he has delivered. He has showered me with words of comfort, challenge, encouragement and love.

So I'm afraid of being afraid, and ready to look that in the eye. Ready to stand up to any fear I face and learn from whatever the outcome may be.