george.

I headed down to Covenant Soup Kitchen to volunteer the way I do every Thursday. I prepared dinner for a bit, then finally got to get out into the dining room and hang out with the guests. I approached Jose and Pedro and a few of their friends who were playing dominos. I had played with Jose and Pedro in the past and had gotten to know them quite a bit.

I sat down and began talking to Jose.

"Be quiet. There's no talking across the table," George said.

"How come? I haven't seen Jose in a few weeks and I'd like to catch up," I asked.

"This is a game of concentration.. we don't talk to each other while we play. Besides, I keep to myself and barely talk to no one," George said as he pulled out a bottle of vodka and took a swig.

"Please don't tell Paul," Jose pleaded.

"George, please keep it away while we're playing and you're here. You're so lucky to be able to eat here, please don't abuse the privledge," I said.

He agreed and we continued to play and Jose and I caught up, being sure not to talk specifically about the game.

George got in a verbal argument with one of the men there, who he had recently "kicked the shit out of" as he put it. I prayed silently as the guests were served and George huffed and puffed about.

As I was leaving, George was outside smoking a cigarette and stumbling around. I told him that I hope he would have a good week and that I looked forward to seeing him next week. He asked if I was driving back to school and I answered yes and asked if he needed a ride somewhere.

I drove George home about 5 minutes away and we talked on the way and then for about 20 minutes in his driveway. He spoke about his love for his kids and how they had turned their back on him because they were fed up with his ways. I talked to him about how hard it was for me growing up with a father who was an alcoholic and how it is still very hard for me today. He was grateful to hear the other side of the story and told me that he saw God in my eyes when I spoke to him. I told him that God has a great plan for his life and that with each breath he is given new life and a brand new chance.

He thanked me repeatedly and as I told him he was so very welcome, he began to cry. I wept with him, crying because I knew that God was present in that moment and we had opened it up to Him in our conversation. I wept because I felt so bad for George living all alone, pretending he wasn't lonely.

Before I left he said "Chelsea, I probably won't remember who you are tomorrow-- because I'm so drunk right now, but I want you to know that you have touched my heart."

I told him that I would introduce myself again if he should fail to remember and we parted ways.

...... George.

Ash Wednesday

This past Monday at 3, the ECSU small group entered my room and we got comfy on my couch, bed and floor. I made a few announcements at the beginning-- one of them being that there would be an Ash Wednesday service at SPCC. I extended the invitation and said I would be glad to drive. One of the members who is a new believer asked what Ash Wednesday is. "I don't know" I replied. No weird looks, no "what do you mean you don't know?!"'s.

The small group that I lead is made up of 5 college students, some of us have believed for a long time, some of us not long at all. I think that we all have in common the fact that we haven't been following for an extended period of time. A few of the members said they would love to join me at the service. What a blessing!

Tonight's service absolutely ripped open my heart. It sounds grusome and awful but it was absolutely necessary and surprisingly healing. I knelt there, hands raised while tears flooded from my eyes. God opened up my heart and poured Himself in, more than ever before.

My heart was challenged.
My behaviors were challenged.
My thoughts were challenged.
My intentions were challenged.
I... was challenged.

Thankfully, Jesus died on the cross and rose again for me.. and for you. God loves us so much that He gave His one and only Son. He still loves us this much today and draws us near to Him time and time again after we turn and run in the other direction.

Let us remember His love with every act, every word, every breath.

Day 20- Better Together

"we're chosen to fellowship together by being patient with one another"

I will say that by God's great and never ending grace, I have learned a lot in the patience department. Being impatient may have been one of the worst characteristics of me my entire life. I remember stories my mom told me about how I couldn't wait for anything and would get such an attitude when I couldn't have what I wanted, when I wanted. The attitude part seemed to get worse with age. Then after about 16, I passed through the attitude phase but still quite the impatience problem.

I, as well as family and friends have noticed a huge difference in the level of patience I have with people. I thank God for showing me what it means to love through being patient. Of course I still have a lot of growing to do in this area, but I am so thankful for the growth so far.

By learning about the patience Jesus had for all of the people he came in contact with and by thinking about how patient God is with each and every one of us-- I can only strive to reach that kind of love!

God has placed people and caused certain things to happen within the last year that I have shown me what it means to love through patience and I am grateful for His mysterious workings and for those people and circumstances.

Let us all try and love like Jesus by being more patient today than we were yesterday.

day 13- better together!

Last week Steve and I were reading the daily devotional together. I was reading out loud and had forgotten to grab my pen before we got comfy to read. "He calls us to be action figures, but he never wants us so busy saving the world that we ignore the interruptions of those in need." I jumped up and got my pen. These were words that needed to be noted, needed to be read over and over and prayed about.

As a college student I find myself the head of a student organization, an RA, head of a small group, active member of SPCC, in classes of course, peer mentoring and the list goes on and on. Often times I am asked why I am so busy and why I don't give something up. The answer is always the same-- I love all of the things that I do and each has taught me so much. I have managed to balance my time so that I can give enough to each and not get burnt out.

BUT.. do I always allow myself to stop and embrace those little "interruptions"? Probably not. Since reading those words, I have been praying that God would help me to be sensitive to these moments and to sacrifice the few minutes of down time between classes or walking into class a minute late. Neither of these things are going to wear me out.. not when I am led by the Spirit.

This past week I have found myself stopping to talk to people on the way to class instead of rushing by and saying I'm almost late. I stay on the phone a few extra minutes and realize that 2 minutes less of sleep isn't going to be the end of the world. The personal relationships and the help that I can offer someone is what is going to make the difference. It doesn't matter how many extra curricular activities in involved in or how my resume looks.

So, I will continue to be involved in the things that God is blessing each and everyday. I will work within those venues, and outside of them of course- to keep my heart open to the promptings of the Spirit. I will invest in people and reach out my hand when necessary and keep praying for the help and the patience I will need to do so.

We are called to be action figures, but behind the scene fights with spiritual weapons will certainly do the trick :)

so many beautiful things.

This is a continuation of my post on celebrating next steps!!

I mentioned my best friend Delia and my friend Sue at the end of that post and said that they had both taken small but significant next steps in their faith... listen to this!!

Last night before church Sue text messaged me and asked me to pray for her at church. I of course told her yes and texted her after church to let her know that she was for sure in my prayers. She then told me that she would like to come to spcc at some point. This is amazing! She came to Imagine Christmas this past year and loved it and when I invited her to a weekend service she told me "I have sinned way too many times to ever go back to church." What a beautiful opportunity to share the gospel. I have been working on doing that ever since and oh my goodness God has worked in beautiful ways.

Twenty minutes after hearing this from Sue, Delia came into my room along with our boss who is a beautiful follower of Christ. At first, I thought we were going to have a work related talk and that made me a bit nervous considering it was a weekend night and my boss wasn't working. However, the words that she said next were the most beautiful I had ever heard. "Chels, I prayed to God today.. for help. I can't do it by myself," Delia said.

There are no words to describe the excitement and thankfulness and just joy that entered my heart. at this moment. We then went to her room and prayed together which was simply beautiful.

I write all of this tonight still overwhelmed by God's greatness and I hope that it inspires you as much as it does me to hold onto all that we believe and continue to love radically in order to win hearts for Christ.

celebrating next steps

In class 401 Ben made a great point-- one that I knew was true but can, and do sometimes forget. It is not we who save lives. God does. He chooses to use us to help, but it is Him.

Related to this, Ben reminded us to celebrate next steps-- no matter how small.

There are so many people in my life who I have seen take next steps, even though they may seem so tiny. They have all been extremely encouraging to me and it's believe that some of these things have happened! God is working in amazing ways.

Just last night.. Steve and I went to dinner for Valentine's Day and then had plans to go bowling. On the way out of Bertucci's, he asked if we could go to Barnes and Noble "for a few". We ended up in the store for close to an hour just browsing the backs of books-- in the Christian section. Steve had found a book in the SPCC library that he was able to read a bit of and wanted to buy his own copy.

After shopping we decided against bowling and went home to read instead! We read the daily devotionals together and prayed.

For some people this may seem lame and like no big deal-- after all- isn't this what we are called to do in relationship? YES! It is!! That is why I am so excited to celebrate these next steps.

My sister, my best friend Delia, my friend Sue and my mom have also all shown next steps in faithfulness and I have never had a happier heart.

God is good.

a great lesson learned

It's 2:30AM. I am woken up by a smoke detector going off in one of my resident's rooms. I roll out of bed and sleepily go to see what has happened. There was no fire or danger, simply a misfunctioning of the detector. I still have to call the campus police so I do so. Ten minutes later I walk back to the room with the police officer who is swearing at the young man accusing him of smoking marijuana. I was taken back by the tone of her voice and the language she was using.

I was mad, really mad. What kind of person is she? "I can't stand her", I thought to myself.

The next day I called the Chief of Police and told him about what had happened. He explained that maybe she was having an off day or something and that he would talk to her about what had happened. "Yeah, okay-- she's obviously just not a nice person," echoed in my head.

Fast forward a couple of months.

I'm in the office on duty and she is here visiting on her rounds. She is talking to the other RA on duty and then invites me into the conversation. She gets to talking about a trip she took to Russia and later I shared my stories from Panama. We laugh and talked for quite a while. She leaves having asked me if I would be available to house sit on occasion because she thinks that I am a responsible and trustworthy person.

She comes back tonight and we get to talking again. This time she asks about my trip to New Orleans this spring break. Then she tells me she would like to help me fund the trip! We talk for awhile more and she leaves for the night.

What a lesson in not judging someone by how they act on on occasion. Perhaps she was having an awful day. Maybe she was completely out of character.

How many times have I acted out of character? I wonder how many people have judged me because of those times and have negative attitudes of me now. This was a lesson times two.

1. A great reminder not to judge others. Ask questions, forgive and continue to pursue the person to get to know them.
2. Be careful how I act because some people may catch me on a "bad day" when I am not acting "up to par" so to speak and have a negative view of me from there on out.

These kinds of moments are the greatest teacher's in my life.

Day 7- Better Together

"How loud is your voice?" In other words-- "How loudly do your actions speak about the love of God?"

I have heard countless stories from Christian friends that I have made over the past year about how it can get very tiring to be a follower and how when we are worn out and the "newness" goes away, we wonder what is going on. I have also been given a great set of tools by the same friends to stick with God and not fall from Him when I get tired. Luckily, my brothers and sisters in Christ look to learn lessons through their struggles!!

Since the beginning of the 40 Days of Community, I have been doing the daily readings and really enjoying them. I am not blogging as much I would like, but I am keeping my eyes open and certainly watching for Jesus.

This morning I found Him! I was reawakened like never before. Not that I was in a super tough spiritual drought, but some things were becoming routine and I was not pleased with my efforts toward growth. Amazingly, God uses these moments to pour down blessings and remind us just how good He is.

Kidmo was better than ever today and I felt God in that space the entire time. Right between those orange, brown and green walls. He was right there laughing with Nikolai as he sang one of the songs in a funny voice. He welcomed Lauren, Caroline and Robyn for the first time and made them feel at home. He met with me in my small discussion group of girls as we laughed and learned. He then followed us downstairs while we worshipped Him by making kits for AIDS caregivers. There was excitement in the children's eyes as they carried the bright orange boxes around the table, filling them with supplies. "God loves you. Bless your heart." is what little Ethan wrote on the note for his box.

These were God moments. This was an entire God morning!! The car ride home was filled with tears and worship music and a grateful heart. All major motivation to work harder at making my voice louder. A great lesson to remind me that I can learn so much from kids.

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ever have one of those moments? days? weeks?.....

good thing He gives us the opportunity for new life with each breath!!

Day 3- Better Together

In today's reading there was one sentence that really struck me.

"The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves."

Wow! How profound. I think that often times we guage how well we are doing at loving at the amount we have given. Whether it be time, resources, money or prayers.. we try and add up all of those things and somehow rate ourselves on a scale of Good Love.

At tonight's membership meeting, Ben spoke about the 6 different mission projects that SPCC will be focusing on over the 40 Days of Community. It was beautiful to hear where God has called us to serve and refreshing to hear Ben say that he does not expect us to get involved in every single one. It isn't about the number of organizations we help or prayer requests we pray about or the number of dollars we give or hours we serve. It is about giving ourselves-- giving REAL LOVE.

For some people, $500 a month to a mission project is no skin off their back because they make a ton of money. For others, they must make sacrifices in order to give $50. For a retired woman, volunteering at the soup kitchen for 10 hours a week may be easy to fit into her schedule, but for a single mother with a full time job, she may need to sacrifice some time to volunteer for one night.

It is not about how many pats on the back we get. It is about sacrificing for others. Going back to my last post.. it is about giving up a bit of our perfectly planned time and energy and money to benefit someone else without expecting anything in return.

I am looking forward to the rest of the 40 Days of Community where I will grow and learn to better love God through showing other people real, true, undeniable, unselfish, compassionate love.

He is RELEVANT daily

For Christmas, I received many great gifts that were cost conscious, where the money went to great causes and a few gifts were actually recycled! One of them was an issue of Relevant magazine (thanks Brit!) which I sadly just opened today.

I had no idea that it was a Christian magazine but quickly learned it was as page after page was full of worship music ideas, great Christmas gift tips, stories of people coming to Christ.. what I also quickly found was that this magazine seems to be genuine. It speaks the truth that we are all simply human and we have growing to do as we mess up and live our lives.

One inspiring and touching part that I read comes from an article caled PURSUING PERSONAL REVIVAL. The author says this:

"Recently, two of my sons decided it would be a good idea to pour a two-liter bottle of soda into a putcher and leave it on the counter for easy access. Little did they know that from the moment they poured it, it began to lose its fizz. Later, they discovered that a fresh, invigorating drink has becomg a sickly sweet (but flat) experience.

In Exodus 16, God pledges to rain down fresh brea-manna- on His people as they wandered in the desert. His only caveat was this:Don't try and save it up. Today's manna is tomorrow's maggot buffet. The people of God were free to receive from God day after day, but what they received yesterday would not sustain them today. It took a daily pursuit and provision.

Never taught the importance of encountering God dailt through the Bible and prayer, many people who have had a genuine, heartfelt encounter with god have allowed the experience to grow stale..."

What a great analogy! An awesome reminder of how important it is to stay plugged in daily. When we put off reading or praying "until tomorrow" we can rather quickly feel far from God and it isn't always easy to get back on track.

better together- day 1

"Real love is placing the needs of others before your own. It is making your problem, my problem. It is giving to another without any guarantee of getting anything back. It is giving others what they need, not what they deserve. Although love can create intense feelings, love is not a feeling. It is a choice, an action, a way of behaving, a commitment. Love is sacrificing for others."

This part of today's devotional leaped off of the page and stuck in my head from the time I read it earlier until I read it again just now. The ECSU small group met for the first time today for the 40 Days of Community campaign. The format is much different than the bible study and sharing session we used last semester, but already I can see the fruit growing.

There was such a genuine sense of community- real love happening right in my dorm room with 4 college students who are in love with Jesus. One of our members has just recently lost a brother and is still really struggling. This individual has been to SPCC a few times and to small group once, but I hadn't seen this person in awhile. Having them present today was such a blessing. The rest of the members were blessed to bless her with love, compassion, ears to listen and arms to fall into.

So often in today's society we get caught up in the idea that love is the equivalent to lust, as Rick gives the examples about so called "love" songs. It is both exciting and challenging to be surrounded by a community of believers, seekers and skeptics all approaching these next 40 days in similar ways. I have no doubt that by the end of these weeks, my heart and the hearts of many others will be changed due to the stretching and testing of our love.

I am anticipating and praying for what is to come. These are God moments, God appointments, non-negotiable meetings with our Creator to figure out how best we can love-- because after all, that is what we are here for.