Not defiance, but defeat.

Three years old, parents yelling down the hall, divorce soon follows. Throughout her childhood and adolescent years,she asks herself "is he going to take mom away?" Jealousy floods her veins. A rough relationship with daddy. He's in and out of jail and never picks me up when he says he will.

Sixteen years old. Just broke up with a boy after almost two years. We thought we had it all, so I gave it my all. Was that all he was after?

Eighteen now, just graduated high school and headed to college. Things are looking up. Sophomore year, she loses herself. Time and time again, she allowed her body to be used. She is letting her soul be killed.
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I had been defeated. Over and over again, I was hurt. I allowed myself to do things I would have never dreamed of. I knew what love was like, but had been hurt in the midst of it so many times. Isn't this true for all of us? Whether it be a parent, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, a boss, a relative, a peer, ourselves.. haven't we all been defeated what seems like far too many times?
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A breath of fresh air. A new friend with a different attitude, a different goal than all of the other guys. A genuine friendship, a partner to serve with. An invitation to a never ending Love in Jesus. A chance to learn the Truth.

Twenty one years old. Doing my best to live each day not for myself, but for my God. The one who has lifted the burdens of past defeats. The merciful Savior who has taken away my shame for my past actions. Flawed? Absolutely. A sinner? Yes, we all are. Hopeful? Excited? Exploring? Loving? Giving? Faithful through all of the mess and the defeats? By God's grace, each of these things has nestled into my heart.
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God knew that I wasn't paying him any attention for my first 20 years of life. He knew that I was hurt and felt the reprecussions of defeat. He didn't punish me for being defiant, he was sensitive and compassionate and sought after my heart still, because He knew I needed tender love.

Perhaps our co-workers, family members, friends and complete strangers aren't being defiant quite often as we think they are. Maybe, just maybe they are scarred and scared. Maybe they need a hug and an ear to listen rather than a sarcastic remark or a sigh of disappointment.

Maybe they have been defeated just as much as we have, if not more.. but do not know about God and the work He has been, is and will continue to do in their lives.

Perhaps our co-workers, family members, friends and complete strangers aren't being defiant quite often as we think they are. Maybe, just maybe they are scarred and scared. Maybe they need a hug and an ear to listen rather than a sarcastic remark or a sigh of disappointment.

Maybe they have been defeated just as much as we have, if not more.. but do not know about God and the work He has been, is and will continue to do in their lives.